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Oddy Oo Beardface

So I went ahead and shaved off my beard. The two-and-a-half month experiment in facial glitzery is over for the nonce, because first off that shit was just too gray and made me feel like I was an extra in Cocoon Part III, and second it was growing all tuftish in the back and I couldn’t keep it trimmed right and it was really just irrevocably stuck in ‘malodorous vagrant’ mode instead of ‘sexy terrorist’ mode which is where I wanted it.

I might grow it back one of these days but for now it’s gone. While I was hacking it all off it went through various other modes which I was not able to photographically document because my ass was in a hurry, but I will describe them to you:

MODE 1. I call this ‘That Guy Who Lives Behind a Dumpster At The Mall And Sells You Crank’ Mode.
MODE 2. This was the ‘Dude At A Party Who Insists On Telling You About The Flat Tax’ Mode.
MODE 3. The ‘Lemmy Kilminster Goes On A Two-Month Chicken-Fried Steak Binge’ Mode.
MODE 4. A.K.A. the ‘Man Who Wants To Sell You An Off-Brand Car Stereo And/Or A Round Waterbed’ Mode.
MODE 5. ‘Fat Hitler’.

Comments

( 13 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )
steve_hicken
Feb. 2nd, 2009 04:22 pm (UTC)
I don't think you could possibly be more metal than you were when you typed "for the nonce". The ne plus ultra of metality, it is.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 2nd, 2009 05:17 pm (UTC)
Gus Sheridan
You ain't alone on the gray. It sort of bummed me out at first that mine came in as gray as it did, but I've made peace with it.

I really thought I'd crack and shave mine off before you shaved yours, though.
ludickid
Feb. 2nd, 2009 05:19 pm (UTC)
Re: Gus Sheridan
I'm a lazy, lazy man, you know.

I'm having phantom beard every time a wind comes up, that's mighty queer.
rxgreene
Feb. 2nd, 2009 05:38 pm (UTC)
That is my favorite part of shaving off my beard - I usually go through the following phases:

Lemmy
Hulk Hogan
Tom Sellick
Clark Gable/John Waters pencil 'stache
Then shave it all clean.
calamityjon
Feb. 2nd, 2009 06:26 pm (UTC)
I haven't shaved my beard in forever, but I love going through stages when I've had a couple of weeks of hair growth. Reverse MoHawk, the Conrad Bain, the DC go-go checks ...
rxgreene
Feb. 2nd, 2009 07:30 pm (UTC)
You do the Road Warrior Hawk reverse MoHawk? Awesome!
hipsterdetritus
Feb. 2nd, 2009 07:11 pm (UTC)
REEEEEE-JECTED
Man, what, were Keith Hernandez and Walt "Clyde" Frazier following you around?
ludickid
Feb. 2nd, 2009 07:14 pm (UTC)
Re: REEEEEE-JECTED
NO PLAY FOR MR. GRAY
conrad_zaar
Feb. 2nd, 2009 08:45 pm (UTC)
Quitter.
oilyrags
Feb. 3rd, 2009 12:12 am (UTC)
Your new assignment

Seriously, if this doesn't show that a long grey beard and ridiculous hat is the best look ever, nothing will convince you.
ludickid
Feb. 3rd, 2009 01:01 am (UTC)
Well, I won't have too much trouble growing that beard, but where am I gonna get that hat?!?
oilyrags
Feb. 3rd, 2009 01:03 am (UTC)
Hot topic doesn't carry it?
lucifrix
Feb. 6th, 2009 07:37 pm (UTC)
Beard-fah-SAY!

(Character on "Scrubs," big beard, they call him "Dr. Beardface" and he always responds, quite indignantly, "That's BEARD-fah-SAY!")

*sheepish* Don't mind me.
( 13 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )

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flavored with age
ludickid
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
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Leonard Pierce is a freelance writer wandering around Texas with no sleep or sense of direction. If you give him money he will write something for you. If you are nice to him he may come to your house and get drunk.

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