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THIS IS YOUR AMERICAN IDOL RECAPSKY

- This crazy “Memento”-style chronology is way too artsy for a show like AI. Ryan Toothpaste sucks all the clever out of it anyway, as he’s too dim to master any narrative more complicated than ‘I like your hat’.

- Adam Lambert proves that the only way that you can make “Believe” sound worse than when Cher sings it is to show what happens when Steve Perry sings it. Abominable.

- I expected to really hate Matt Giraud, the dueling-piano player, but he ended up being pretty good, and not butchering “Georgia On My Mind” (though see below), and even avoiding the risk of letting his playing overwhelm his singing. How about that.

- I have a feeling Jamar, who charms the socks off of me, could be a great singer if he opens up with some original material. I dig that cat, and his voice and expression are perfect for this competition. His Best Friend Danny ™ impressed me less this time, and may not go as far because he’s not as charismatic and good-looking, but shit, he’s still got amazing pipes, knows how to approach a song, and is a hell of a showman. I honestly haven’t been this impressed with a batch of guys in years.

- ANOOP FEVER! BY NOW YOU SHOULD HAVE RECEIVED LONG-TERM HOSPITAL CARE AS A RESULT OF IT! Also, how fucking bad chill was that dude in the holding tank, all napped out on the floor wearing his tea shades while everyone else sweated it. The Noop Dog don’t care, that’s why the Noop Dog is so very fly.

- Scott McIntyre was surprisingly mediocre – cheesy and boring in his vocals despite the fancy piano playing. I thought he’d be a favorite, but he just sounded dull tonight. But, he’s blind, so he wins. At one point he said “I heard Paula gave me a standing ovation – I didn’t see it.” You didn’t see anything, dude, you’re blind.

- Tatiana Del Toro is a complete wigjob. She’s the first AI contestant I can totally see murdering someone during the competition, and they’re purely keeping her around for the drama-queen jawn, because it sure as shit ain’t her voice. I can’t believe how delusional she was over that total botch-job of an ending she gave her song.

- Man, fuck Nick Mitchell a hundred times. People keep saying they’re glad he’s on the show because he’s funny – what is fucking funny about that guy? Has he done or said anything actually funny on the show? He’s not funny. He’s just a jackass. And he butchers "Georgia on My Mind", which is a sin.

- I like Ju’Not Joyner more now that he looks like a corner boy.

- I still don’t get why Michael Sarver, the oil rig worker, thinks that Idol is gonna make such a huge difference in his family’s life. Isn’t he in a union? If not, he’s a chump, and if so, unless he’s in the top 5, he’s likely to make a lot more money doing his job than winning this stupid show.

- Aw! Michael Castro didn’t make it! Perhaps he and his brother can find some, er, “natural” means of fighting off the terrible disappointment he must be feeling, if he’s actually paying enough attention to notice he got cut.

- Where has Frankie Jordan been this whole time? I know she made it through this far, but we need to see more of her, because she was a good singer and also hot. I know the guys are a good crop this year, AI producers, but come on.

Comments

( 1 SHOT LICKED — LICK A SHOT )
janehex
Feb. 11th, 2009 06:37 am (UTC)
His Best Friend Danny

I call him "Robert Danny Junior." Because of the slight resemblance.

I have a soft spot for the dueling piano player because that is literally my brother's profession. It's for real musicians.

At the end when Tatiana is whimpering on the floor, here is what I said: "Won't someone just kill her please?" Alas, my dream did not come true. But I look forward to the hysterics she busts out when she is finally put out of our misery.

This whole episode seemed like a giant waste of time. What did they cut, like 14 people? More ad dollars for FOX. OHHHH, tomorrow's the REAL elimination episode! I felt very swindled by the end.
( 1 SHOT LICKED — LICK A SHOT )

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Leonard Pierce is a freelance writer wandering around Texas with no sleep or sense of direction. If you give him money he will write something for you. If you are nice to him he may come to your house and get drunk.

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