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Your Sausage Moment

Goodness knows why I am compelled to analyze puff pieces I find on the internet. It does no one any good whatsoever.

Anyway, here is this '7 Traits of Irresistible Men' thing on Yahoo!, and at one point, it says this.

2. He Radiates Calm. It's sending shivers up our spine just thinking about how powerful a man's calm presence can be. Neurotic or hyper or frenzied is stressful, no matter how busy the man or what his excuse. But if he's got cool written all over his face and his gaze is pure steady and peaceful his sex appeal will shoot through the roof (think old-school James Dean).


Think, as you see, old-school James Dean.

If I may be impertinent?

1. Why "old-school" James Dean?
1a. James Dean died 54 years ago. Anything he did was, by definition, old school.
1b. He died when he was twenty-four years old, having made only three movies. His career cannot be, in any sensible way, divided into 'old-school' and 'new-school' phases.
2. Why, if you wanted to praise the quality of being calm, cool, unflappable, and smooth in the face of a crisis, would you cite James Dean?
2a. Dean was hardly known as a paragon of unflappability in his roles.
2b. In fact, the young Method actor was known for his highly vulnerable, smoldering, emotional outbursts.
2c. Look!



2d. This is one of James Dean's most famous scenes in his acting career, and no one in their right mind would describe him as "calm".
2e. I mean, why not, say, Robert Mitchum or Sterling Hayden?
3. In short this comment makes no sense whatsoever.

THE END

Comments

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uvula_fr_b4
Aug. 2nd, 2009 05:13 am (UTC)
Maybe the writer's only point of reference was a poster of James Dean? Or that Vandenberg song "Rock On," which mentions James Dean and whose tempo is kind of an understated slow boil, as it were, and therefore, James Dean simply must be the same way? (Compare "Rock On" with the Eagles' "James Dean": only a real moron would get the idea that James Dean was calm, cool and collected by listening to the Eagles' song: "Too fast to live, too young to die, bye-bye".)
editrix26
Aug. 2nd, 2009 05:17 am (UTC)
Or Paul Newman in Hud.
koganbot
Aug. 2nd, 2009 05:25 am (UTC)
I doubt this will throw light on the matter, but at the start of Rebel Without A Cause he is at a new school, having been kicked out of an old one before the movie begins (iirc).
everbloom
Aug. 2nd, 2009 07:16 am (UTC)
I don't think a single one of those things is particularly "irresistible". Number 3 had potential until it turned into "working out" rather than "can wash own clothes".

They sound like the chick-flick stuck-up stereotype to me.
(Deleted comment)
hipsterdetritus
Aug. 2nd, 2009 08:50 pm (UTC)
"YOU WANT TO, AS THE PHRASE GOES, 'SIT ON IT'"
(Deleted comment)
thaitea
Aug. 2nd, 2009 08:47 pm (UTC)
I like sausage. But not that way.
very_improbable
Aug. 2nd, 2009 10:42 pm (UTC)
Hear, hear.
roseyv
Aug. 3rd, 2009 04:41 pm (UTC)
The writer is under 40.
S/he has no idea who James Dean is, but knows he must be cool, because s/he once saw him featured in Gap ad.
S/he knows “old school” is by definition always cooler than anything new. (Until a few years have gone by, and the new thing takes up its rightful place in the “old school” pantheon.)
S/he understands that in citing classic icons of cool, one must always use those who have been dead for at least 30 years. Living people who are your contemporaries are de facto lame. (Except for the ones no one has heard of yet, but you can’t cite them, because other than yourself and a few of your coolest friends, nobody would know who you were talking about.)
You would only know of Dean’s brooding, explosive side if you had ever actually seen any of his movies, and who wants to do that? Old movies are boring. It’s just a bunch of people sitting around talking. And half of them aren’t even in color!
In short, in its context, the quote makes perfect sense. It’s just that you, Leonard Pierce, are an irascible old far. Which is why we love you so dearly.
roseyv
Aug. 3rd, 2009 04:41 pm (UTC)
Fart. Fuck.

Sorry.
atlasimpure
Aug. 3rd, 2009 06:03 pm (UTC)
It makes sense if she bases the entire opinion on a poster she saw once.
atlasimpure
Aug. 3rd, 2009 06:03 pm (UTC)
Yeah, that line confused the crap out of me. It was like "lets pick the classic actor that has NOTHING to with what we're illustrating".
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Leonard Pierce is a freelance writer wandering around Texas with no sleep or sense of direction. If you give him money he will write something for you. If you are nice to him he may come to your house and get drunk.

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