?

Log in

No account? Create an account

JUMP BACK | BE FORWARD

Jon & Kate + Mindless Hate

I would have gone in a different direction with this.

1. Do not marry a horrible manipulative shrew.

2. If you violate Rule #1, DO NOT HAVE EIGHT CHILDREN.

3. If you violate Rule #2, you're pretty well sunk, but at least try to stay out of the public eye as much as possible.

4. I mean, like, keep your affairs away from papparazzi and gossip columnists.

4a. In particular, don't have an affair WITH a gossip columnist.

5. Don't star in your own highly popular televised reality show.

5a. Especially if you are pretty much a dick.

6. I know this one is really closing the barn door behind the horse, but don't be an obvious dick.

Tags:

Comments

( 7 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )
drownedinink
Aug. 4th, 2009 03:58 pm (UTC)
I'm still just trying to comprehend how I'm living in a post-industrial society where having more children than is economically feasible for almost everyone is deserving of instant fame, much less constant media attention.
anne_jumps
Aug. 4th, 2009 08:53 pm (UTC)
Because of our ~RESPECT FOR LIIIIIIIFE~
roseyv
Aug. 4th, 2009 04:22 pm (UTC)
You forgot the all-important rule number 7: If all else fails, at a bare minimum, if you must continue in the public eye, don't do it in such a way that further economically exploits your eight children, and (7(a)) if it's absolutely unavoidable to further economically exploit them, at least give your absolute all to the option of not exploiting them by associating their images with a line of clothing designed by a company whose clothing is pretty much universally associated with dick-nosed munchbagging assholes.
easyalchemy
Aug. 4th, 2009 06:06 pm (UTC)
As far as I can tell, men really, really like marrying horrible manipulative shrews. I mean, no disrespect to my sisters in the struggle or whatever, but most guys I know are married to woman who make them sell their Star Wars action figures or stop drinking or wear clothes from Abercrombie and Fitch.

From where I stand, that shit's abuse.
But dudes seem to like it.
zulkey
Aug. 4th, 2009 06:14 pm (UTC)
don't wear jon ed hardy {ETA Wow I threw that in before I read the piece}

don't get pierced ears unless you're of the type that can pull them off and you most probably are not

don't wear a bluetooth as an accessory.

Edited at 2009-08-04 06:15 pm (UTC)
anne_jumps
Aug. 4th, 2009 08:54 pm (UTC)
From the other perspective, don't marry a passive manchild who's too young for marriage and kids anyway.
threepunchstuff
Aug. 5th, 2009 06:01 pm (UTC)
What I learned from Kate + 9 is that owning a large house makes everything easier.
( 7 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )

Profile

flavored with age
ludickid
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
Ludic Log

PROPRIETOR

Leonard Pierce is a freelance writer wandering around Texas with no sleep or sense of direction. If you give him money he will write something for you. If you are nice to him he may come to your house and get drunk.

Latest Month

December 2016
S M T W T F S
    123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Tiffany Chow