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MONDAY POLL OF DESTRUCTION

We haven't had one of these in a while...

Poll #1482931 Critical End of Decade Poll Time is Now

Yes, this is truly a golden age for...

television
1(1.4%)
indie rock
0(0.0%)
social networking
1(1.4%)
video gaming
0(0.0%)
medical robots
1(1.4%)
king snakes
1(1.4%)
having an app for that
1(1.4%)
Asperger's Syndrome
9(12.9%)
pornography
1(1.4%)
womens' shoes
0(0.0%)
unusual soda flavors
1(1.4%)
my vagina
0(0.0%)
unemployment
0(0.0%)
ways to make coffee not taste like coffee
0(0.0%)
ways to make non-coffee taste like coffee
0(0.0%)

2009 is/is not the last year of the 2000s.

I am an idiot, and it is.
3(4.4%)
I am a pedant, and it is not.
20(29.4%)
I have no dog in this fight, you horrible nerds.
45(66.2%)

I am going to make the following my personal crusade in 2010:

preventing people from using the word "retarded" to describe things that are not retarded people
9(13.2%)
preventing people from using the word "ghetto" to describe things that are not ghettoes
6(8.8%)
mocking vegans
4(5.9%)
scolding non-vegans
1(1.5%)
taking some position or another about "South Park"
3(4.4%)
going on some sort of "spree"
11(16.2%)
impregnating someone
4(5.9%)
becoming impregnated
2(2.9%)
becoming impregnable
21(30.9%)
finding new and exciting drugs to abuse
7(10.3%)

My favorite fictional caveman is:

Captain Caveman
5(7.2%)
Fred Flintstone
8(11.6%)
the GEICO caveman
1(1.4%)
Anthro
1(1.4%)
Ringo Starr in "Caveman"
0(0.0%)
Alley Oop
6(8.7%)
Kong the Untamed
0(0.0%)
Encino Man
3(4.3%)
Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer
11(15.9%)
Raquel Welch in a fur bikini
20(29.0%)
Lok from "The Inheritors"
0(0.0%)
Mighty Mightor
1(1.4%)
Eegah
7(10.1%)
Og
4(5.8%)
other (see Comments)
2(2.9%)

Who should win Time Magazine's Man Of the Year?

Comments

( 20 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )
doraphilia
Nov. 9th, 2009 03:37 pm (UTC)
I wish the personal crusade question had been a ticky box question!!
ludickid
Nov. 9th, 2009 03:44 pm (UTC)
We're in a recession. You're only allowed one personal crusade per year.
handful_ofdust
Nov. 9th, 2009 04:15 pm (UTC)
Ray Bradbury's "The Ugly Little Boy".
stavner
Nov. 9th, 2009 05:04 pm (UTC)
Isaac Asimov wrote "The Ugly Little Boy".
handful_ofdust
Nov. 9th, 2009 05:13 pm (UTC)
Excellent!
rxgreene
Nov. 9th, 2009 06:01 pm (UTC)
Other Fictional Caveman - Nick Cave. Could not resist Raquel Welch though.
rxgreene
Nov. 9th, 2009 06:03 pm (UTC)
Also - for reference: Henry Okah.
roseyv
Nov. 9th, 2009 06:08 pm (UTC)
I can tell you for a solid fact that it is not a golden age for women's shoes (albeit it may be a platinum age for vaguely women's-shoe-shaped art objects that would look stunning on the polished concrete cocktail table in your Tribeca loft space).

I also think the past ten years may well end up ushering in a major pendulum shift in porn. By which I mean, the advent of super-crisp, super-cheap digital video (ew! stretch marks! cellulite!) and ready access to unlimited free online porn (ew! stretch marks and cellulite ... and SO MUCH OF THEM!) may ultimately send us scampering back to the days of scantily clad ladies with oopsie-daisy expressions on their faces and produce spilling out of their brown paper grocery bags, like so many beaten hounds.

Of course, that's probably just me.
vito_excalibur
Nov. 10th, 2009 05:22 am (UTC)
Good lord, it's the explanation of the revival of burlesque.
brandiweed
Nov. 9th, 2009 06:38 pm (UTC)
Wot, no Vandal Savage?
uvula_fr_b4
Nov. 11th, 2009 06:04 am (UTC)
I didn't see Cave Carson either...
pr1ss
Nov. 9th, 2009 07:09 pm (UTC)
The real loss isn't "retarded" which was always sketchy, but rather "retard" which not only mocked the subject, also exposed the speaker's backwoods effort conjugate medical argot.
johnnylemonhead
Nov. 9th, 2009 07:51 pm (UTC)
More Monday polls, if you please.
hipsterdetritus
Nov. 9th, 2009 08:13 pm (UTC)
I did not pick "South Park" as my own personal crusade, though I will stake my claim right here and now that it's some of the sloppiest "satire" to ever become critically acclaimed for how supposedly daring it is. It's pretty much all down to this: "Everything sucks except the stuff we like! And you don't have the right to be offended by this -- fag." I think my breaking point was when some War On Drugs/Just Say No PR people were depicted as referring to themselves as "ultra-liberals".

Then again, I'm mostly just bitter that they don't do much flat-out surrealist, relevant-to-nothing luancy like MechaStreisand anymore.
marlo
Nov. 9th, 2009 11:37 pm (UTC)
good call.
krinndnz
Nov. 9th, 2009 10:39 pm (UTC)
Did I miss this? Don't decades go from zero to nine?
marlo
Nov. 9th, 2009 11:36 pm (UTC)
OH SHOOT I SHOULD HAVE PICKED NEIL PATRICK HARRIS. WHOEVER SAID THAT IS AWESOME.

Also, I love this poll.
yuriverse
Nov. 10th, 2009 12:18 am (UTC)
Damn, I was too quick out of the gate and nominated you without realising others had gotten to it first, making me look like a lickspittle and bandwagoneer. And now I cannot go back and change it to someone obscure yet clever!

Velimir Khlebnikov! I now nominate Velimir Khlebnikov!


... pah; I am a failure.
yuriverse
Nov. 10th, 2009 12:19 am (UTC)
On the other hand, you should win; your reaction quotes would be better than most past victors, I'm sure.
effluvia
Nov. 10th, 2009 12:33 am (UTC)
The whole "YOU" person of the year thing with Time magazine was so goofy yet sort of endearing. Like Time was striving to be relevant and with it by recognizing that blogging and youtube had become staples in modern culture. Like my granny pointedly mentioning that she knows who Lady Gaga is, sort of.
( 20 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )

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Leonard Pierce is a freelance writer wandering around Texas with no sleep or sense of direction. If you give him money he will write something for you. If you are nice to him he may come to your house and get drunk.

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