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TASTEFUL SAN ANTONIO: THE MEETENGREETENING

Yes, it’s time once again for Meetup.com to suggest things that it thinks I might like to do instead of sit at home masturbating to Community reruns on Hulu. When really all it’s suggesting is that it doesn’t know me very well. Observe!

Pain relief with laser therapy

I’ve always thought of lasers as being used to inflict pain, not alleviate it, but I guess you learn something new every day.

HEALTHY COFFEE CRUSADE

I’m sure they mean “healthful”, and I’m equally sure they’re in no mood for my pedantry. You can tell they’re serious coffee drinkers from the all-caps: HEY YOU GUYS WHO WANTS COFFEE, I COULD GO FOR A COFFEE COME ON

The Sentinels MC

My guess? An outlaw motorcycle gang that also kills mutants.

Renaissance Futurists

Now, this really intrigues me. Are they, like, SCA people who are also futurists, so they spend the week contemplating the future and the weekend dressing up like people from the past? Or are they literally Renaissance futurists – that is, people from the Renaissance who speculate about what the “future” will be like in, say, the 1820s? I gots to know.

FunDancers

That’s it: just “FunDancers”. They probably have rumbles with the “GlumDancers”.

Glamour Photography Club of Texas Monthly Hooters Meetup

Well of course they meet at Hooters. Of COURSE they do.

The San Antonio Sumo Wrestling Meetup Group

Projected ratio of “sumo wrestlers to “regular fat guys”: 1:5.

The San Antonio International Dining & Nightlife Club: “Let’s Enjoy Middle Eastern, Persian, Greek, and Turkish Food in One Place”

I know what they’re really saying is “let’s find one restaurant that serves all kinds of Mediterranean cuisines”, but what it sounds like is “let’s make sure we keep all the swarthy towelheads where we can keep an eye on them.”

San Antonio Brilliant Babies and Preschoolers Classroom: Pick and Plop

NO PICKING! NO PLOPPING! Get these damn kids off my couch!

Hermann Sons Square Dance Club: Slip the Clutch vs. Shoot the Star? Box the Gnat!

I…what?

Comments

( 6 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )
perich
Feb. 10th, 2010 10:14 pm (UTC)
masturbating to Community reruns on Hulu

You have a crush on Alison Brie, too? Don't know what it is about her, but day-amn.
anne_jumps
Feb. 10th, 2010 10:15 pm (UTC)
Hell's bells, Trudy.
ludickid
Feb. 10th, 2010 10:52 pm (UTC)
Not to say I don't occasionally throw Britta and the woman who plays Professor Slater in there to spice things up as well, but yeah, Alison Brie is definitely the hottest woman ever to be named after cheese.
thaitea
Feb. 10th, 2010 10:15 pm (UTC)
I COULD GO FOR PICK AND PLOP THE BOX-GNAT COME ON!

(Or some such thing...)
anne_jumps
Feb. 10th, 2010 10:17 pm (UTC)
I find no search results for "pick and plop." I'm slightly frightened now as well as mystified.
hipsterdetritus
Feb. 11th, 2010 01:19 am (UTC)
Why do they throw in 'Persian' and 'Turkish' after the already regionally-encompassing 'Middle Eastern'? And couldn't they just say 'Middle Eastern and Mediterranean' and save some space, or are they worried that they might then accidentally entrap some Italians, who haven't been an affront to true American values since the Lufthansa heist?

Also, "Renaissance Futurists" is totally the name of an underground hip hop group on Fondle 'Em circa 1997.
( 6 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )

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ludickid
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
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Leonard Pierce is a freelance writer wandering around Texas with no sleep or sense of direction. If you give him money he will write something for you. If you are nice to him he may come to your house and get drunk.

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