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So many Qs, so few As

Q.: What do I have to do tomorrow?
A.: Watch the World Cup, interview a famous singer lady, watch some more World Cup, work on comics.

Q.: What was up with that freaky noise my car's air conditioner was making the other day?
A.: It wasn't the air conditioner. I just had a window partly open.

Q.: Speaking of air conditioning, why don't more people hang out at your house?
A.: Because of my diffident attitude towards air conditioning.

Q.: What was that bloody remnant on the floor of your game room from?
A.: Beats me. Something the cats killed.

Q.: How many famous singer ladies are you interviewing this month?
A.: Three.

Q.: If you were to submit one agency's name in evidence of the concept of "bureaucratic inefficiency", what agency would it be?
A.: The Texas Workforce Commission.

Q.: Speaking of government agencies, do you find it interesting that people in the armed forces, who relentlessly celebrate their own service, are often the first to denigrate other government service agencies?
A.: "Interesting" is one way to describe the way I feel about that phenomenon.

Q.: How did you gravely injure your finger?
A.: I have acquired a new hobby of building model landscapes. This hobby involves the use of razor blades, and I am clumsy, old, left-handed, and frequently on the dope. As a result, I slashed my right index finger open and lost about six gallons of blood.

Q.: Does this wound require stitches?
A.: Like it was some snitches.

Q.: Do you have health insurance?
A.: No.

Q.: You know all the concern trolls who pretend that they are worried about fat people not because they think fat people are gross, but because they claim to worry about the social cost of obesity?
A.: Sure.

Q.: Do you ever wonder if it comes as any relief to them that a lot of fat people are poor and thus will simply die young because they can't afford to seek medical attention?
A.: I imagine that it is a great comfort to them.

Q.: While we're on the subject, by whom do you enjoy being lectured to about being fat the most?
A.: People who smoke.

Q.: What is your favorite thing about healthy people?
A.: How they will never die.

Q.: What is your second favorite thing about them?
A.: How their good health is entirely a result of their own virtue and strength of will.

Q.: Aside from slicing your finger open with X-Acto knives, what is the most satisfying thing about your new hobby?
A.: The chance to visit hobby stores, where the typical customer -- a short, slightly overweight white woman in her mid-50s -- looks at me like I am an escaped zoo animal.

Q.: What do you smell like these days?
A.: A pure, pristine tropical beach in the South Pacific, on the two days of the week I actually leave the house. The rest of the time, something significantly worse than that. Imagine Danielle Rousseau, from Lost, and how she lived in a tiny shack on the beach for sixteen years with no soap, very little fresh water, and no compelling reason or means to engage in basic hygiene; then imagine instead of Rousseau in that situation, it was Hurley.

Q.: You like talking about yourself, don't you?
A.: Sure. Doesn't everybody?

Q.: Did a bunch of commenters at the A.V. Club get mad this week when the site ran an article containing the phrase "meet cute" and furiously accuse us of coining a self-impressing neologism, even though the phrase "meet cute" dates back about 75 years and was coined by a man who has been dead since 1947?
A.: Yes, that happened.

Q.: Anything else?
A.: You tell me.

Comments

( 19 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )
caprinus
Jun. 11th, 2010 08:27 am (UTC)
Who was the coiner of cute meat, then?
ludickid
Jun. 11th, 2010 10:02 pm (UTC)
Bjork.
littlewashu
Jun. 11th, 2010 12:32 pm (UTC)
I would like to see some of these landscapes.
masterninja66
Jun. 11th, 2010 09:52 pm (UTC)
Seconded.
ludickid
Jun. 11th, 2010 10:04 pm (UTC)
Oh, there's none of them done yet. Just a few hills and a couple of farmhouses. This is a new hobby and I approach it with the speed of molasses. I'll post photos when there's something to see, but in the meantime, check out this dude, who is eight hundred billion times better than I will ever be:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/24796741@N05/sets/72157604247242338/show/with/2346008881/
hipsterdetritus
Jun. 11th, 2010 12:35 pm (UTC)
By "work on comics" do you mean read them or something else on a contribution-type level?
ludickid
Jun. 11th, 2010 10:05 pm (UTC)
Both. I have some to review for the A.V. Club, and I'm writing something.
solipsiae
Jun. 11th, 2010 03:14 pm (UTC)
I have missed your posting so much.
roseyv
Jun. 11th, 2010 04:09 pm (UTC)
If the Texas Workforce Commission is what prevented you from visiting NY, “inefficient” is the nicest thing I can think of to call them, especially now that I know that you share my diffident attitude toward air conditioning, since now I realize I wouldn’t have had to keep apologizing for how hot it was in my apartment. Assuming it would have been.

Also?
Thing I did not know about Leonard: That he is left-handed. Or at least, I don’t recall knowing this. Now that I think about it, it does seem vaguely familiar. I am not on the dope, but encroaching middle age has addled my memory somewhat.
kudaspeaks
Jun. 11th, 2010 07:17 pm (UTC)
You have a game room? What are you, swanning around in an ascot, drinking name brand liquor there in your fancy pants?
ludickid
Jun. 11th, 2010 10:08 pm (UTC)
Yes, pretty much, since you asked.

It's actually the third bedroom, but since I live alone, I call it the game room as opposed to the office (the second bedroom) or the bedroom (the first bedroom). Even that is a misnomer, because I don't have any friends and thus never play the games. So I guess a better name is the "comic book, games I never play, hobby, and mini-fridge room". Or "the cat room", since they spend more time in there than I do.
feisty_robot
Jun. 11th, 2010 10:43 pm (UTC)
Th.. th.. THIRD bedroom? Christ on a cracker, Pierce. My girlfriend and I have the synchronize our breathing to fit into our one-bedroom here in SF. You are, indeed, of the ascot-sporting class.
ludickid
Jun. 11th, 2010 10:58 pm (UTC)
Well, yeah, but I live in SAN ANTONIO. You live in an actual city with things to do.
vito_excalibur
Jun. 12th, 2010 07:17 am (UTC)
There is somewhat of a difference in rents between San Antonio and San Francisco. The "San" at the beginning of both of them is misleading.
rjwhite
Jun. 11th, 2010 07:56 pm (UTC)
Good lord. I just went through that comment thread.
archaica
Jun. 11th, 2010 08:29 pm (UTC)
Your Wee-Bay icon reminded me of the scene where he tells Delonda to let Namond go, easily one of my favorite scenes from the Wire.
ludickid
Jun. 11th, 2010 10:10 pm (UTC)
It is indeed from that very scene.

"Remember who the fuck you talking to right here. Remember who I am. My word is still my word. In here, in Baltimore, in any place you can think of calling home -- it'll be my word that finds you."
archaica
Jun. 11th, 2010 10:12 pm (UTC)
It's almost my favorite Wee-Bay scene, although my favorite is the one where he tells Stringer about Little Man and there's this elaborate camera move for this "oooooh, shit" moment Bay has. Just cracks me up.

Wee-Bay and Chris together in the last episode is just perfect, really.
schtune
Jun. 11th, 2010 11:45 pm (UTC)
I hate to nitpick, but there seem to be just as many As as Qs.
( 19 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )

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flavored with age
ludickid
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
Ludic Log

PROPRIETOR

Leonard Pierce is a freelance writer wandering around Texas with no sleep or sense of direction. If you give him money he will write something for you. If you are nice to him he may come to your house and get drunk.

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