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Thoroughly Researched

It may come as a surprise to many of our readers that going outside is still a "thing". Let's take a look at the pros and cons of outside, and scientifically determine if it is "worth it".

GOING OUTSIDE: THE CASE FOR
- nature is located outside
- most things that are not your house and the things in your house can only be reached by going outside
- some necessities and most luxury items are only to be found outside of your house
- it is necessary to go outside to get anywhere that is not your house
- some socializing is done outside
- people in your house you may like might occasionally want to go outside
- going outside inspires you to look, act slightly less awful than you do in isolation

GOING OUTSIDE: THE CASE AGAINST
- most people are outside, and almost all of them are terrible
- most things now available on the internet
- outside is not heated, air conditioned
- going outside costs money, while staying at home is free
- when you go outside people will hit you with cars
- if you go outside often enough someone will give you a job
- you're only going to have to come back inside again anyway

CONCLUSION: Do not go outside your house, it is bad.

Comments

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harmfulguy
Jun. 16th, 2010 08:12 pm (UTC)
Nature is 'for'?
ludickid
Jun. 16th, 2010 09:03 pm (UTC)
Nature is pretty. Fortunately, it can be seen on the internet.
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tx_cronopio
Jun. 16th, 2010 08:23 pm (UTC)
As a point in the case for? There are no beer delivery services. I don't know why we can put a man on the moon and yet I cannot pay a nice young lad to bring me a six-pack.
ludickid
Jun. 16th, 2010 09:03 pm (UTC)
There are beer-of-the-month clubs, but they do not deliver with any frequency.
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(Deleted comment)
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blue_straggler
Jun. 16th, 2010 08:25 pm (UTC)
My barbecue is outside. The box told me not to bring it inside. But I want the barbecue food. Please help.
ludickid
Jun. 16th, 2010 09:06 pm (UTC)
Technically, your patio is not 'outside'. It is, in fact, 'the part of inside that doesn't have any walls'.
carbonunit
Jun. 16th, 2010 08:29 pm (UTC)
I don't think you can conclusively state that going outside costs money. It can be done for free, with a bit of planning and subterfuge. In fact, I would put it on the 'for' side.
ludickid
Jun. 16th, 2010 09:04 pm (UTC)
Au contraire. The necessity of "planning" puts it firmly in the 'against' column. Staying inside requires no planning.
BLANK - calamityjon - Jun. 16th, 2010 09:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
Going outside - (Anonymous) - Jun. 18th, 2010 10:20 pm (UTC) - Expand
happinesstogo
Jun. 16th, 2010 09:19 pm (UTC)
- most people are outside, and almost all of them are terrible
- most things now available on the internet
- outside is not heated, air conditioned
- going outside costs money, while staying at home is free


This pretty much sums up my staying-inside life lately.
ludickid
Jun. 16th, 2010 09:56 pm (UTC)
That is because you are wise.
eyelid
Jun. 16th, 2010 09:54 pm (UTC)
A+ analysis
for the "against" column: inside there is your couch, which you are permitted to lounge upon, even naked.
ludickid
Jun. 16th, 2010 09:56 pm (UTC)
Re: A+ analysis
Try to lounge naked on a park bench. See where that gets you.
rollick
Jun. 16th, 2010 09:58 pm (UTC)
Yes, most people are outside, and most of them are terrible. But they're also on the Internet, and they're even more terrible there because they think they can get away with it.
ludickid
Jun. 16th, 2010 10:01 pm (UTC)
True, but on the internet, you cannot smell them, and they can't run you over with their cars.
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roseyv
Jun. 16th, 2010 10:29 pm (UTC)
Another con:
The sun is outside. I saw the sun once. I didn’t like it. Also? It wants to give you the cancer.
perich
Jun. 16th, 2010 10:46 pm (UTC)
also:
The TV news keeps telling me about deadly things in my home (electrical outlets, mold, bedbugs, etc). And if the LIBERAL MAINSTREAM MEDIA is campaigning against it, it must be pretty damn good!
johnnylemonhead
Jun. 16th, 2010 11:38 pm (UTC)
When the outside has a lot more space than the inside (that is, when you live in a studio apartment about the size of a slightly roomy shoebox, as I do), going outside is a lot more appealing. I don't go to work to get paid so much as to have more leg room.
hipsterdetritus
Jun. 17th, 2010 03:50 am (UTC)
Here is an important case for going outside: there is the possibility that you live in an apartment and subsequently have an immediate neighbor whose annoying tendencies are somehow more intolerable than the everyday annoyance that one may typically encounter out-of-doors. This apartment may also be situated in a neighborhood that is prone to close-quarters noise (for instance: ceaseless construction; heavy semi-truck traffic; drunk pedestrian hollering) and the only way to escape these things is to not only go outside but travel a significant distance away from the inside.
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