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New York Review of Cranks

I am an old man who will die childless and leave the world worse off than when I entered it. Because of this, I have the need to be occasionally reassured that humanity is, on the whole, composed of horrible people who don't deserve to have anything good happen to them ever. To service this need, I craft Yahoo! News alerts around various subjects: black people committing crimes; women accomplishing things; gay marriage; and, of course, anything at all involving Muslims.

Why these subjects? Because they are the ones that attract thousands of angry comments from people who reassure me that I am right to do nothing to help mankind. After reading them, I remember that human life is just a mistake, and I can go back to eating Rainier cherries and getting stoned on beaches with absolutely no guilt that I am a non-contributing zero. Don't believe me? Let's watch.


PRESIDENT GOD

This is not about government anymore! Its about or future and beliefs! and GOD is mine! so with that said, its time we take back our country and clease it of its troubles! remove the muslims and all illegals, rebuild our country with GOD as president and fight all that traspass against us to the death!! (Brian B)

A NICE CIVIL WAR WILL RESTORE OUR RELIGIOUS FREEDOM

All of the freedom of religion whiners who have no problem with this - WHAT freedom of religion are you referring to exactly??? Prayer in school and the Pledge of Allegiance among a list of others, are banned because it "offends" certain people. If there was freedom of religion in this country, that would not have happened, the people who were offended would have been told where to go. The religion responsible for taking out the WTC wants to build a mosque two blocks away from where they took out the towers, and it is offensive beyond imigination and they call it "overcoming a hurdle"?? If I remember correctly, they wanted to build a monument at ground zero that read "In God We Trust" or something along those lines, and people pissed and moaned about it and it wasn't done. But by all means, let these people build their mosque near ground zero, it's all fine and good regardless of who is offended by it. There is no freedom in this country anymore. The American people need to take the country back...civil unrest is on the horizon, it's just a matter of time. (Gunslinger)

MUSLIM INFILTRATION EXTENDS TO CARS, FOOD

They're murderers (islamic followers). They kill Americans secretly. Whats' in your car - could that be why you're getting sick? Check your food if they've cooked it for you. Thsy're spying on you, just like they do in their own country. Why do you think they conform to islam so readily? FORCE. You're killed if you don't. (Bruce W.)

JUST BECAUSE WE'RE TOLERANT DOESN'T MEAN WE HAVE TO TOLERATE THINGS

This is a disgrace and will never be tolerated. America is a tolerant nation, to a point. That point has been crossed. (Anvil Smith)

ZONING INCONSISTENCIES NOTED

let them build a mosque in arizona.anywhere but new york.they wont let me build a garage on my own property,but they will allow a mosque down the street from the towers.maybe next to the mosque we should build a statue of kamakazi planes and pilots.and next to that a nazi war camp memorial.maybe a wall showing all the muslims who died in the attacks could be built next to the vietnam wall,or in front of the national cemetary.i am sure our politicians would push that thru.sad day for america (Robertw)

MUSLIMS NOT PEOPLE

Look what happens to our country when liberals are in charge...This makes me sick...Just ram this down our throats and piss on what the people in this country want....I thought this was a country for the people and by the people... Not for the enemy of the people.....What these people in charge are doing to this country will take years to fix..... (Mike)

CAPITALISM MISUNDERSTOOD

It will never get built......if construction materials fail to be sold, delivered or assembled. I have faith in our USA labor, supply and transportation companies. The fat lady has yet to sing. (Chris)

OF COURSE NOT; THE HOLOCAUST MUSEUM IN D.C. IS FOUR WHOLE MILES AWAY FROM THE GERMAN EMBASSY

Maybe the better choice for all would be another location. Would the German govt. place an office next to the Holocaust Museum.....I think not. (Gdi)

SO THERE'S AN UPSIDE

This may upset some folks, but all great empires come to an end...... just never thought I would still be alive to watch it happen to our great nation. Christians should be excited as the end times/Rapture really looks like it will come true in our lifetime. Just a thought. (Pete K)

LET'S GO AHEAD AND TAKE CARE OF THE JEWS WHILE WE'RE AT IT

You all forget, we are at war, with basically Muslim extremists, whom declared war on us by flying planes into defenseless people. NUKE the whole fricken middle east, including the frickin israelis...Shove it up Allah's arse. (Michael)

THERE'LL BE MUSIC PLAYING, A CELEBRATION, A CHANCE FOR FOLKS TO MEET

I hope someone blows it up. Then we can dance in the streets like the rag heads did after 9/11. (Shane)

THIS IS ALL HUSSEIN'S FAULT

It’s not a surprise with a Muslim president in office that the very religion that killed so many Americans is allowed to build a temple of hate at grown zero (Ukkid)

NONRELIGIOUS ORGANIZATION ENCOURAGED TO BUILD CHURCH

You can't go to their country and build a church. Besides that the freedom of religon was Christianity, that is what America was founded on, IN GOD WE TRUST. The aclu needs to go to Iran and build a church. I would like to see that. Idiots. Socialist. Commies, that is what the aclu is. They use your tax dollars to fight the American people. (John)

MAKES SENSE

As a christian i feel it my right and responsibility to be the first suicide bomber to attack this mosque. (Josef)

FEELINGS PASSIONATELY EXPRESSED

You just know I would want a bunch of these inbred retards next door to me. I say let them spend their money building their house of crap and when they all go in to suck dirt for allah, bomb their asses back to hell. islam the religion of peace, bull shit the new is full of their peacefull acts every single day, they are inbred and do not want to live, good, they want to see allah, or mohamed, or mickey mouse, or whatever, send them, send them now, tell allah there's going to be a run on ugly virgins and goats and send them to him, they want to go, we want to send them, no problem. (Old Winner)

RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN MOHAMMAD, ALLAH QUESTIONED

If the two people who are worshipped by this religion were well known faggots why do muslims hate gays so much? (None)

POOR SCANSION, BUT GOOD USE OF REPEATED MOON MOTIF

The United States new National Anthem . Oh say can you see, by our muslim moon light, what so proudly we hailed, at the moons everlasting gleem. Whose broad moon and bright stars, thro the perilous fight, over the towers we watched, were so gallantly streaming? As our planes did glare, they were bursting in air, gave truth to the world, that our new flag was there. Oh say does our own muslim flag wave, over the land of the defeated,, and the home of our will. Mr Bloomberg, you know not what you have done. (James)

UNSANITARY PROTEST PLANNED

When I visit NY I will be bringing bacon to that site and I will be wiping it over everything there. (Dick Gozenya)

IT SURE HELPED LAST TIME WE HAD ONE

I think its time for blood, an eye for an eye, being passive has lead us here, civil war would help (Karl)

BUILDING COSTS IN NEW YORK REMAIN HIGH

If anyone bids on this job, they should include the cost of the 2500 lives lost there, the WTC towers, and associated buildings. Add in the cost to fight the taliban and saddam hussein. (lowercase used intentionally) I'd say about $500 trillion should cover it! Every contractor in the country should bid exactly $500 trillion dollars, then build it to fall down in about a month. No jury in America would blame you. (Spook)

AMERICANS SHOULD BE FREE TO KILL MUSLIMS, SAY "NIGGER"

Political Correctness" is what is destroying this country from within. Charges of "racism" are a scam in order to make money. "He called me a name!" The "N-Word" Are you fucking kidding me? Grow the fuck up. Muslim terrorist are not being encouraged to commit their attrocaties by military leaders, their religious leaders are whipping them into a frenzy. The Islamic religion controls every aspect of their lives. Our "leaders" are to cowardly to admit it, but WE are being attacked by the Islamic religion. The only good muslim is a dead muslim. (SugarLips McGee)

THE FINAL MINSULT

I think this the final minsult.Arabs take down the twin towers so now let them build a mosque near it.If they bwant to worship their way then go back to their country This is an insult.They take out the twin towers and now they want to build a mosque close to it.If they want to worship their way then go back to thier country an d build it there. (Karen)

ZANY SCHEME PROPOSED

Why would you ever consider such,has it been that long since you looked up and watched as they flew two passeneger aircraft into the twin towers and killed not only them selves, but all the passengers aboard, and fuck near everyone in the buildings and on the streets below.You want to put up a monument at this sight, here is my suggestion.Put Bin Liden head in a glass box blow it up, while taking a photo, and enlarge it to the size where you can see it from the street,put a sign on it."DO YOU GET THE PICTURE" (Mark H)

PRESIDENT IS A MUSSELMAN; HEATHENS PREVENT FREE FLOW OF TRAFFIC

American traitors all! I can not help but wonder what the payoffs were for these traitorous and treacherous New York panel of bums who sold out their country for profit. Certainly any real Patriot could not allow such a despicable thing as a muslim mosque to be built in a US City and so close to the 9/11 where MUSLIMS blew it up. Have they gone mad ? If we had an American President and not one who is a muslim himself and kisses the ring of a muslim in Saudi Arabia he would have stopped this dead in the water. Instead not as much as a peep from our kenyan muslim. What a disgrace, what an insult to our great country. I wish all these @#$% muslims would pack up and leave my country. Here thanks for our deadbeat President who has a moratorium on drilling we continue to enrichen OPEC while they turn around and use OUR money to buy off politicans, progressive liberals, and support boneheads like Barry HUSSEIN Obama. To think such a thing would happen in this country is one of the most horrible events in our history. One thing for Obama and "friends" this country of freedom loving patriots will NEVER, and I mean NEVER accept the law of sharia in this Christian Nation. No way, no @#$% way. Obama keeps talking about the contributions of muslims in America. Really, and what exactly have they accomplished ? I do not know of any war they were in to help us. All I can conjure up for their contributions might be what let's see there is 9/11. The killing of innocent Americans. Quite an accomplishment. Then there is their ISLAMIC terrorism around the world and killing Americans at every opportunity. Again, quite an accomplishment isn't it. If I sound like I am upset, I am. A mosque in New York where even more of these non-Christians can spill out into the streets of New York and block traffic. What a pity our government is run by a muslim. (Ed)

JEW MAYOR SMELLS MONEY WITH HOOK NOSE; SHOULD BE KILLED, THEN FIRED

I want to say this is a disgrace and if the people of NY don't stand up scream and look for someway to stop this I feel sorry for them. I am a NYorker who has lived in TX for over 32yrs and I hurt for the people who have to walk past that atrocity everyday once it's there. It's a slap in the face to America, a slap in the face to NY and the Mayor should be drawn and quartered and fired by the people. Where is Rudy when you need him. When this was bought up to him, he sent them packing with a few choice words, but Bloomberg loves the smell of money, so I'd love to know what he's getting out of this. take a look a Dearborn, MI and see what's waiting for NY. (Connie F)

(By the way, lest you accuse me of cherry-picking, this is basically just every other comment from the first ten pages. There are currently over 275 pages of comments. So far, each of the half-dozen or so comments reasonable opposing comments has received enough negative votes that it's hidden from view, a fun feature of the Yahoo! news blogs. GOD BLESS AMERICA!)

Comments

( 16 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )
cucumberseed
Aug. 3rd, 2010 07:26 pm (UTC)
Yep. Our fellow man.

I think I'm going to be running all the air conditioners tonight and eating ice cream.
harmfulguy
Aug. 3rd, 2010 07:30 pm (UTC)
They're murderers (islamic followers). They kill Americans secretly. Whats' in your car - could that be why you're getting sick? Check your food if they've cooked it for you. Thsy're spying on you, just like they do in their own country. Why do you think they conform to islam so readily? FORCE. You're killed if you don't. (Bruce W.)

Sounds like someone got a little too much Fear Gas the last time he fought the Scarecrow.
fengi
Aug. 3rd, 2010 07:35 pm (UTC)
And now that shooter in Connecticut apparently complained of racism. White folks are absolved of everything! Obama must respond!
flying_blind
Aug. 3rd, 2010 10:59 pm (UTC)
I blame the Chinese... especially Oprah.
bassman42
Aug. 3rd, 2010 11:13 pm (UTC)
This is one of the chief reasons I have lived in Canada for the past 30 years. People don't bother to think, they just react and say any stupid thing they've heard, which they of course take as Gospel no matter how wrong it is. Can they not get it through their heads that Mr. Obama is NOT A MUSLIM? Never was. Muslim extremists destroyed the Twin Towers, not muslims in general, and extremists of any stripe will do equally damaging things. Fuck 'em all!
tawdryjones
Aug. 4th, 2010 12:49 am (UTC)
I can't read illiterate garbage
This stuff HURTS. I tried to read the comments you excerpted but it's like putting lemon juice in my eyes. Why would I hurt myself like that?

Although, I did find ONE gem. And I will be wiping bacon on everything I can find because, duh, BEST IDEA EVER.
(Anonymous)
Aug. 4th, 2010 02:41 am (UTC)
東京に来る心の準備はOKですか?
thaitea
Aug. 4th, 2010 05:29 am (UTC)
When I see people single-mindedly texting during meetings, training sessions, family gatherings, and as they merge onto the freeway, I wonder "What the heck is so important? What are they writing?" Now I know. Thanks Old Winner, SugarLips McGee!
(Anonymous)
Aug. 4th, 2010 06:08 am (UTC)
Wedding dressにあわせるサンダルは、ゴールド or silver。
Machingのevening bagを買ってもいい。
(Anonymous)
Aug. 4th, 2010 06:12 am (UTC)
やっぱり、花嫁さんは白がいい?
yuriverse
Aug. 4th, 2010 06:44 am (UTC)
This is why I've spent the last few nights, whilst watching "Walking With Monsters: Life Before The Dinosaurs" with the husband, booing loudly every time some CGI beastie crawled onscreen and was identified as a "mammal-like reptile, the earliest ancestors from which we - human beings - evolved!"

I have decided we all took a wrong evolutionary turn after opabinia. The Cambrian Age was the best. You mammals get off my shallow seabed.
slammerkinbabe
Aug. 4th, 2010 02:34 pm (UTC)
I don't think we have any proof that those comments were written by human beings. Why can't they produce birth certificates?
calamityjon
Aug. 4th, 2010 03:42 pm (UTC)
I'm touched by the inventiveness that there's now a shorthand for "Muslim Insult" - "Minsult"
It's terribly unfortunate for the loudmouthed patriots of the American Heartland that the only part of New York City which they liked and which was populated by decent Americans who shared their core beliefs happened to be the part that got blown up by planes. Now all they're left with is a city full of money-hungry muslim sympathizers.

Poor Idaho. Poor Oklahoma. Poor Mississippi.
hipsterdetritus
Aug. 4th, 2010 06:22 pm (UTC)
Poor Oklawhatnow?
Man, imagine how they'd react if terrorists blew up a federal building in their own backyard and killed hundreds of people! I bet they'd never trust anybody who fit that bomber's profile ever again.

Someone should start a business selling 4/19 NEVER FORGET bumper stickers at Tea Party rallies. See how many people catch on.
krinndnz
Aug. 5th, 2010 09:14 am (UTC)
Re: Poor Oklawhatnow?
I heartily endorse this idea.
zulkey
Aug. 4th, 2010 06:41 pm (UTC)
Leonard, what do you make of the ADL these days?
( 16 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )