Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator

Can a Bot ZZZ of an A/C Baa?

Program note:  ages ago, some internet fiends and I used to play a constrained writing game called “Mad Ape Den”, where you’d have to re-tell a well-known story (novel, movie, TV show, play, etc.) using only words of three letters or fewer.  I’d completely forgotten about it until today, when I dug up this Mad Ape Den version of Blade Runner.  I’ve updated it and fixed a few, er, gaffes, so enjoy, and take a crack at the game yourself — it’s a wonderful tool for developing mental focus, if completely frivolous.


In L.A., ’19, all is not so OK. If a man has $, he can buy a cat or dog, get a bot to do a job, or fly to far-off orb. If a man has not got $, in a cot he can nap, and for him no far-off orb, but L.A., w/mud fog and all the bad men.

Ty Co. did get $ for use of Rep bots. Rep bot is as man, but is not man: Rep bot has + STR, AGI and CON, but man has +WIS and tho Rep bot die, man can go on. On far-off orb, man has Rep bot do war job, so Rep bot say: Up yrs, man, now you die! So now man has law: no Rep bot in L.A.

We see Ty Co.: man at one end and cop at one end. Cop say to man: “Are you Rep bot?”

Man say to cop: “I am not Rep bot!”

Cop say to man: “It may be. I do V-K, and we see. Say to me all re: mom.”

Man (who is Leo) say to cop: “Ho ho! Oh, I say re: mom!” And BAM!, cop has rip in gut by gun of Leo. Bye-bye, cop.

Cut to Rik, an old cop – and I say he was a cop, but now is not a cop no mo’. All day Rik see an ad: GO TO FAR-OFF ORB! IT IS SO, SO DEF!  But Rik has no $ to go to far-off orb. Sad, sad Rik.

Now we see Gaf, a Mex-Jap cop who say his rap in Mad Yak. Gaf to Rik: “You A+ bot cop! Hup-hup w/me to HQ.”

Rik to Gaf: “No way, man. I am no cop, let me be.”

Gaf to Rik: “Lo fa, ne-ko, shi-ma, de va-ja bot cop!” And so Rik and Gaf jet to cop HQ.

Top cop Bry did lay out the fax: a Rep bot set, two and two, did go ape and ace the men who did fly an orb-jet. Now the set is in L.A., vs. the law. “You, Rik, can ice the Rep bot set.”

Rik did say nay; “No cop am I, no mo’.”

But top cop did say, “If you no cop, you li’l’ man, and you do as I say or it do go bad for you.”  Gaf did do bok-bok in Jap art, as if to say: you got no say. So off Rik did go, to ice Leo, Zo, P., and Roy.

“#1, Rik did go to Ty Co. Ty, top man at Ty Co, has owl (a bot) and R., a hot gal Fri. NEX-6 Rep bot (so Ty did say) is A+ top bot, but for it is 365 x 4 and no mo’.

“Why is it so, pre-die?”

“It is so bot do not try to be as man”. But Ty did say, too, bot is as man, and so did say “nay!” to Ty as Ol’ Nik did say to God.

“How as man are Rep bot?”, Rik did ask.

“As man in all way,” say Ty; “Do a V-K, you can see. But now do V-K on my hot gal Fri, R., to see how it can do on 100% gal w/DNA and not bot.”

So Rik did do V-K on R. In V-K, R’s eye did go red, and she did say “so and so” and “not so and so”.

100+ Qs and 5+ hrs, R. did go, and Rik did say to Ty:  ”She is bot! How can it be?” To Rik, Rep bot is not as man, but now he did see fax not fit w/his vue.

Ty say:  ”The bad re: Rep bot is, it is as man, but it has no pre-now. W/my gal R., we did put in her pre-now mem, of kid of my sis. So she has pre-now mem, and she do not ken she is bot, but gal. For all she ken she is gal, she can not say to man, ‘Up yrs! Now you die!’.” All the new fax, Rik did not dig.

Off Rik did go to pad of Leo. At the pad, Rik did spy in tub a bit of asp, and say, “Ah ha!” Gaf did do a Jap art of man with big hog.

Cut to: Leo and Roy. Roy is sad: in pad was pix of his fam, and the cop did nab the pix. Roy did say, “Pah!”, for he did ken pix are of pre-now mem – but a lie.

“Now to get an eye, we go.”, Leo say.  Leo, Roy and P. did go see Chu, a man who do the eye for bot.

Roy and his set, as NEX-6 Rep bot, get A++ eye, and ask Chu:  ”Who buy the eye you do? Say, or you get bad ice.”

Chu is all, “Brr! OK, I say! My eye is got by one man: Ty.”

Roy did say, “You get me to Ty? He is not so E-Z to see (w/my eye you did).”

Chu say: “I can not get you to see Ty, but I can get you to see J.F. Seb. He is the man to see.”

Now at pad of Rik, we see R. She say, “I am not bot! I ken Ty did say I am bot, but see? A pic of me w/mom!”

“It is not mom of you,” say Rik. “Is mom of old gal, now R.I.P. It is all a lie: you are a bot.”

“But in me is mem of pre-now! How can it be?”, R. did ask.

“I say of pre-now mem: a lie. Dig: you do got mem of you and bro, at age six – doc fun. He did pop out his hog, and you did run. And, too, a pre-now mem: kid bug did eat mom bug.”

“How do you ken?” ask R., all eye pop.

“All the pre-now mem a lie, I say. I do ken, for Ty did say to me. Too bad, kid, but you are a bot.” R. was sad and did cry, and as R. did go, he did ask: why is she so as gal, tho I ken she is bot?

Cut to: P., a sex bot, who did go to see J.F. Seb, a man who did do bot – bod and mem. P. did lie to Seb, and say, “I am sad.  I got no $ and I got no pad, can I be w/you and be a pal?”

Seb is sad and in in big pad with bot toy, who are as pal, for he has no pal who is man. So Seb did say “OK, P., you are my pal, in we go.”

In apt. of Rik, he did hit the gin and on 88-key box did tap out an air. And now he did ZZZ, and in the ZZZ, he did see a uni. On the 88-key box, we do see a lot of pix, but no pix w/Rik. Now do we go: Are his pre-now mem a lie? Is Rik, too, a bot? It is not for us to say, not yet.

Rik did get up and use PC to dig the pix of Leo; and he did see a gal in hot tog w/tat of asp. Rik did get pic of gal – it is Zo – and bit of asp to an old hag who did do the bot cod. “It is a bot asp”, she did say, “You go see Ben, in fez.” And Ben did say one gal did buy a bot asp: Zo, who is at the Asp Pit.

At the Asp Pit (run by Taf, and Lou at the bar), Rik did say: “You got an asp gal? Say, or you get bad cop act.”

Taf did say OK, and Zo – as Ms. Sal – has fun w/bot asp. Rik did see Zo, and did say, “I am rep of AFL-CIO” – a lie.

Zo did say “No way – you are a cop” and did go on to hit Rik in the gut and try to get him to die. He did not die, so she did run, and Rik did run too. In the end Rik did get a gun and go bam-bam-bam at her: oh no! No mo’ Zo.

Now did Bry and Gaf say to Rik: you do OK to ice this Zo, but you got to ice two and two mo’.

Rik did say, “Do wha? Not two and two, but two and one!”

“No way,”" Bry did say: “Uh uh. You got to ace the gal R., who is a bot but did not ken. Now she do ken she is a bot, and did run.”

Rik did not ken how to act on job to ice the gal R., who he dug a lot. He did go up the ave. in L.A. and put it to his I.Q. As he did go, he did see R., and he ran to her  – but he did not get to her, as Leo did bat his mug w/a big end-of-arm ham.

“How old am I?”, Leo did say.

“I do not ken,” Rik did say, “but it is 365 x 4 ere you die.”

You do not get 365 x 4, sez I,” Leo did say, and he did hit Rik w/18 STR ’til Rik was set to pop. “Get up! It is Die P.M.!”

But Leo did not ace Rik, for BAM! did go the gun of Rik, now w/R. And so it was R. did ace Leo, and did see she may be a bot, but she was a gal too, and it did not do for a bot to ice a man. Now did Rik and R. go to his pad, and he and she did yak.

“If I go,” she did say, “Do you run for me, to ice me?”

“Not me,” he did say, “But it may be Gaf or Bry. You can not get by a cop.”

R. was sad and she did cry, but Rik got hot and say to R., “Say you luv me.” So she did say, and Rik and R. did ‘do it’.

At the pad of J.F. Seb, P. and Seb did yak too. Seb did say “I yen to go off the orb, but see: I am 25, but I am ill too, and if you see me, you say, ‘He is 70. He is so old!’ So I am in L.A. ’til I die.”

“Me too,” P. did say, and as she did say, to the pad of Seb the top bot Roy did go.

“We are now two,” top bot Roy did say, “you and me. Zo did die and Leo too.”

“Do we now die?”, P. did ask.

“No way,” Roy did say. “Not if Seb can let us see the big bot man, Ty.” Seb is not so hep, for at Roy he did eek – but he did say OK.

Seb did see off Roy to see big bot man Ty in the A.M. “Q to B6,” Seb did say (tho Roy did say for Seb to say).

“K6, Q”, Ty did say, but Seb did say “B to K7 – the end!” So Seb (and Roy) won, and in to see Ty did go.

“I dig to be as man,” Roy did say to Ty. “I do not dig to die after 365 x 4. You get for me mo’ 365!”

“No can do,” Ty did say. “You are a bot, and a bot is not a man. You are, as a bot, A++, but it’s all, no mo’.” So did Ty say, but Roy did not dig the A. to his Q., and so he did go ape-poo and did ice Ty and Seb.

Now did Rik go to pad of Seb. P. was at the pad, and she did try to ice Rik: his top, w/her leg, she did try to pop like zit. But Rik is A-OK cop, and he did ace her w/his gun: bam, bam, bam. No mo’ P.

Now Roy had no pal, and he did say to Rik: “Are you not bad, man? You did ace two Rep bot, but fem. Now try a bot who is a man.” And we see it is no lie: Roy, a bot, is to a man as Rik, a man, is to an ant. Roy did toy w/Rik, and did do him all pop, pop, pop: two and one ows for P. and Zo and Leo.

Now Rik did dig: Roy did luv P., and to him Leo was as a bro and Zo as a sis. To him his set was not a Rep bot set, but as a fam of man. But he can not say so: he has to run, to not die.

Roy, too, did not dig to die, but his 365 x 4 is up: he put a rod in his arm like J.C., but he can not but die. Roy did say to Rik, “I see as a man can see; my Rh is as the Rh of a man, and tho I die, I do not ice you, so you can see I die as a man can die and not a bot.” All he did ken is now to go, to be no mo’: how sad. And so Roy did die, not as a bot but as a man, and so we do ken too.

Now did Gaf fly by in jet: “You are as a man,” he did say to Rik (a bot?). “Now you go. It’s too bad she has to die. But so do we all!”

Rik did go to see R. at his pad, for he did ken it was no lie. “Do you luv me?” he did ask.

“Yes,” she did say.

“Do you ken I do not dig to see you die?” he did ask.

“Yes,” she did say.

So the two did go, out of his pad to run by the cop. Rik did see a bit by Gaf: a Jap art uni. Gaf did ken, too, who is R. and who is Rik, and he did let the two run. “It’s too bad she has to die. But so do we all!”


Tags: features, film, humor, other, uncategorized

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