Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator

How Fandom Works: A Non-Toon

1.  JERRY FAN:  I love pies

2.  JACKY FAN:  I also love pies

3.  (both eat pies with little enthusiasm)

4.  JERRY FAN:  This pie would make a good cake


1.  JERRY FAN:  Did you hear Bill’s Bakery fired Baker Bob

2.  JACKY FAN:  But Baker Bob baked all their best pies

3.  JERRY & JACKY FAN:  We are outraged

4.  JERRY FAN:  I wonder what the new pies from Bill’s Bakery will be like


1.  JERRY FAN:  I hate this new pie

2.  JACKY FAN:  Me too, this pie is dry crumbly and tasteless

3.  JANEY FAN:  Then why do you guys keep buying the pies

4.  JERRY FAN:  If we don’t buy them they might stop making them


1.  JERRY FAN:  Your latest cake was terrible

2.  JACKY FAN:  Yeah there was no excuse for that cake

3.  BAKERY BILL:  We’re making another one of those cakes

4.  JERRY FAN:  Awesome, so excited


1.  JERRY FAN:  There should be more women who are into baking pies

2.  JACKY FAN:  Yeah, why don’t a lot of chicks come to our bake-offs

3.  JANEY FAN:  Actually I have some thoughts on that

4.  JERRY FAN:  Shut up bitch


1.  JERRY FAN:  Your cupcakes suck dude

2.  JACKY FAN:  Yeah your cupcakes are a disgrace to the entire concept of cupcakes

3.  BAKERY BILL:  Here is a coupon for 20% off more cupcakes

4:  JERRY & JACKY FAN:  Score


1.  JERRY FAN:  Remember that fig bar, it was terrible

2.  JACKY FAN:  Probably the worst thing that has ever happened was that bar

3.  JERRY FAN:  On the other hand it was great

4.  JACKY FAN:  Probably the greatest thing I have ever eaten


1.  JERRY FAN:  What is that you are eating, is it a pie

2.  JANEY FAN:  No it is a sandwich

3.  JERRY FAN:  You know what would make that great

4.  JERRY FAN:  If it was a pie


1.  BAKER BOB:  Hey I really appreciate you guys supporting my work

2.  JERRY FAN:  No problem man you are one of the all time greats

3.  BAKER BOB:  Can you believe Bill’s Bakery is making crappy new pies using my recipe and selling them with my name on them

4:  JERRY FAN:  Uh we have to go now


1.  JANEY FAN:  What are you eating

2.  JERRY FAN:  A turd with a cherry on it

3.  JANEY FAN:  Gross, you’re eating a turd

4.  JERRY FAN:  But it has a cherry on it


Tags: comics, essays, features, humor

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