Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator

Tommy Vercetti! Remember the name!

So, I bought "PlayStation Gamer" magazine on Friday, because it had a disc in it with a demo of "The Getaway". (Which, by the way, looks absolutely incredible, but doesn't play very intuitively.) And one of their dopey little featurettes was this thing where they ask the staff 'If you could live inside a video game, which one would you pick?'

The answers ranged from the amusing ('Lara Croft's Naked Trampoline Party') to the bewildering ('Medal of Honor' -- who would want to live the rest of their life in the middle of a war?). But I asked myself the question, and my answer was clear:

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. Here's why:

1. I would live in a giant mansion.
2. I would have piles and piles of money, and I could get more on a moment's notice.
3. I would get laid constantly.
4. I could kill people who pissed me off, and all I would have to do to get the cops off my ass would be to drive around for five minutes.
5. I'd have a much better car than I do now.
6. Mr. Magic on the radio 24/7.
7. No snow.
8. I would look and sound like Ray Liotta.
9. I wouldn't have to have a job.
10. I would have a bunch of festively dressed hired goons named Mario at my beck and call.

The downside is, I would have to live through the Reagan administration again, and there would be no internet. But I'm willing to trade that for being able to cut up yuppies with a chainsaw and impunity.
Tags: game, laffs

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