Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator

The garbage man can't

As you may know if you're a Chicagoan, or if you're some kind of lunatic who keeps an eye on local issues in Chicago even though you live in Nebraska, my city is currently subject to a strike by waste disposal workers. As the strike drags on, bags of trash pile up in our Dumpsters, rats get fatter and bolder, and the unique urine scent that is Chicago's hallmark odor mixes with the ucky stank of rotting food and old beer cans.

What are the issues in this labor dispute? Let's take a look at the strikers' demands.

* Workers will no longer be called 'garbagemen' or 'sanitation engineers', but 'post-usage consumer product removal professionals'

* Pickup schedule to be changed to 'he who tops it off drops it off' paradigm

* All workers to be issued black leather uniforms with skull insignia armbands and "HELL'S DUSTMEN M.C." logo on the back

* Not responsible for hauling human waste; only animal waste

* Grizzly old guys to be legally barred from pronouncing it 'GOB-idge'
Tags: laffs, news

  • The Party of What People?

    This will be my last entry of 2016.  Next year will begin, barring some unexpected act of fate, with the ascension to the presidency of Donald…

  • Anno Terribilis

    2016, the little year that absolutely could not, is almost over, and with the exception of people for whom it was a raging success —…

  • Shalom and the Jewish Jesus

    Shalom Auslander got the best possible start on having a sickly fatalistic sense of humor:  he was a miserable Jew from the day he was born. As…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 1 comment