Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

The garbage man can't

As you may know if you're a Chicagoan, or if you're some kind of lunatic who keeps an eye on local issues in Chicago even though you live in Nebraska, my city is currently subject to a strike by waste disposal workers. As the strike drags on, bags of trash pile up in our Dumpsters, rats get fatter and bolder, and the unique urine scent that is Chicago's hallmark odor mixes with the ucky stank of rotting food and old beer cans.

What are the issues in this labor dispute? Let's take a look at the strikers' demands.

* Workers will no longer be called 'garbagemen' or 'sanitation engineers', but 'post-usage consumer product removal professionals'

* Pickup schedule to be changed to 'he who tops it off drops it off' paradigm

* All workers to be issued black leather uniforms with skull insignia armbands and "HELL'S DUSTMEN M.C." logo on the back

* Not responsible for hauling human waste; only animal waste

* Grizzly old guys to be legally barred from pronouncing it 'GOB-idge'
Tags: laffs, news
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