- A promotional poster for the WLUW record fair that parodies the cover of the Herb Albert & the Tijuana Brass A Taste of Honey and Other Delights album*
- A folder containing a draft of my crappy novel, cunningly concealed among other work-related folders
- A colorful "Branson, Missouri" keychain
- An ancient Tozai radio/cassette boom box on which I listen to NPR
- A promotional calendar sent to me by one of our clients featuring cars from 1947
- Four buttons featuring Duran Duran, Pope John Paul II, Biggie Smalls, and an unidentified Chinaman*
- Another promotional calendar from one of our vendors that says "Make some waves this year and beyond"
- Three Chicago White Sox baseball cards from the 1983 season: Ron LeFlore, Ralph Garr and Bobby Molinaro
- Three seashells I got playing Frisbee on the beach at Lake Michigan
- The wrapper from a French-Canadian chocolate bar*
The following items are taped to my computer:
- A blue paper parasol from a tropical drink
- A number of fortunes from Chinese meals, including the famous "Your graciousness makes others feel at"
- The front cover of a catalog for the Oriental Trading Company of Omaha, NE, featuring three grinning morons with glow-sticks wrapped around their heads
- The lyrics to "Ohio River Boat Song" by Will Oldham
- A card featuring all the world's time zones, courtesy of the Brother Corporation's "Coolaminator"
- Another promotional calendar, this one from the Portland Cement Association
- A logo for the cheesy Giuffria-led '80s hair-metal band Angel that looks the same upside down as right side up*
- A doodle of a cyclops saying "Hi?"*
*: These items are all courtesy of my pal Allison, who is one of the only things that make my work day tolerable.
Yes, God help me, I am the dead hipster from the latest issue of the Onion.
Now, in a desperate attempt to make this a meme instead of me just being incredibly boring and self-indulgent:
What's decorating YOUR desk right now?