The thing is, I try to give Styx the benefit of the doubt. I bought "Kilroy Was Here" (at full price!) on CD recently, while operating under some bizarre delusion that it was actually a lot better than people think. All it took was one listen to realize that, in fact, it's a lot worse than I thought. What I am saying is, it's a bad record. Verging on a terrible record, and probably one good song away from being an absolutely awful record. I used to say things like "Styx is a slightly less stupid Journey", but this sort of praising-by-faint-damn is exactly the sort of qualified insult that Styx inspires: if you can't say anything nice about a band, say something even less nice about another, similar band.
And the reason this is all so sad is, I want to like Styx. They're one of the few bands, like Nazareth and ELO, that I can clearly remember from my late-'70s suburban childhood, and even though my musical tastes tend to the more, well, obscure, I try to save a spot in my heart for these mushball childhood memories. And, best of all, Styx frontman Dennis DeYoung is a White Sox fan! In fact, Jesse Jackson and Mayor Daley aside (stop frontin', Dre), he's probably the most famous Sox fan in the world. Which is unbelievably depressing, if you think about it. (I try not to.)
So I try to be charitable. But every time I hear a Styx song, my charitable nature is defeated by their relentless shittiness. It's a hard life, being me.