Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator

Sorry, puny humans

Man, was I in a wierd mood yesterday. I apologize very sincerely to anyone who ended the day thinking "Christ, that Leonard is an asshole."

Various things going on with friends and family, combined with a doomstruck sense of politics, the stress of a dozen or so deadlines all crashing down on me at once, the stress of holiday shopping and trip-planning, and general money/car/job woes all combined to get me down, hold me there and kick me in the neck a couple of times. After which I let my normal robotic facade crack for a couple of hours and was probably pretty unpleasant to look at, be around, or hear from. I usually make every effort to tamp down my emotions, because they're all of them pretty inappropriate, but I failed this time, and I want to say I'm sorry to anyone who had to deal with my shit yesterday. I'm a creep, I'm a loser, etc. etc.

Anyway, my level of despair and strain haven't really lowered that much (though I did clear off a bunch of writing last night, so at least I think I'll meet all my deadlines, and that will help a tiny amount with money-stress), but I pulled my head out of whatever dark, painful fire ant hole I had inexplicably got it stuck into, and I'm much better equipped to deal with everything now. I promise to be less of a schmuck in the future. Thank you and good night!
Tags: crankery, diary

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