Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator


My Magazine Would Be Called: The Journal of the American Milk Solids Council.

It Would Focus On: literary theory and criticism, short humor, serial fiction, novelty sodas.

Regular Features Would Be: Lengthy diatribes about how we would have made other peoples' work better had we written them, jokes that "The Simpsons" was too chickenshit to tell, Legion of Super-heroes slash, 'Ask a Giant Space Monster', and desperate pleas for sex.

Regular Contributors Would Include: George Meyer, Bob Black, the ghost of Roland Barthes, Richard Meltzer, Christian Claiborn, the guy who edits "Gone and Forgotten".

You Might See Occasional Articles About: Themes of Bourgeoise Cowardice in the Life of Stephen King, In What Order We Would Banish All Our Enemies Onto a Mining Asteroid, Joan Jett: Gay? Or What? (Part 1 of 600).

And Interviews With Such Luminaries As: Jacques Derrida's receptionist, that guy who walks up and down Michigan Avenue with a bullhorn and a sandwich board saying Al Gore is a Russian clone who can control the weather, Jerry "Scut" bin-Laden.

And There Would Be Sexy Black and White Photographs of Celebrities Such As: David Cross, Comic Book Shop Girl, the tiger who bit Roy's head open.

The amazing thing is that I was gonna do my own meme today! It was gonna be, which 1980s G.I. Joe are the fuck-knuckles on your Friends list? Only I got bored. So now you will never know which of you is Roadblock! HA HA SUCKERS!

Also see how I participate in y'all's memes even though you totally ignore my retarded rhyming picture game? THAT'S RIGHT! Screw you all right up the bucket.
Tags: junk, memes

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