What I did all day Christmas.
I can see for miles. Note: My hair is not usually this long.
The hostess with the mostest.
The Roommate laments her inability to kill Cubans.
Nothing says ‘Happy Birthday, Jesus’ like gin and vermouth.
Do NOT fuck with Toothpick Girl.
I makes ‘em strong and I makes ‘em long.
And I makes a lot of ‘em.
Who, I ask you, is a good boy?
I keep telling you people I’m a fat lush, but you don’t listen.