January 31st, 2003

flavored with age

It ain't the meat, it's the motion

I guess I really don't have anything to say about the news that vegan mothers have mentally retarded children, because I'm not that kind of a flywheel. I have no gripe with vegans, or at least not any more than I have a gripe with everybody else on the planet.

But I do remember with amusement an acquaintance of Iced Tea's who was a dedicated vegan, with a 'Meat is Murder' sticker on his portfolio and everything, who used to go to Wendy's every day and order a plain baked potato with no butter or cheese or sour cream. Apparently, it had not occurred to him to bring his own lunch, or just to not eat at a restaurant that would take his dollar and use it to pulverize cattle by the millions.

Come to think of it, I do have a gripe with people who apply their quirky dietary notions to animals. Vegetarianism is fine for people; it might even be heroic. Choosing not to eat meat is a valid choice for adaptable humans, whose versatile metabolisms and mastery of technology allow them to forsake dead flesh with relative ease (though see above); however, dogs and cats just aren't built that way, and it saddens me to see a pet get impaled on the spike of self-congratulatory human behavior in any manifestation. I recall an old boss of mine who kept her dog on vegetarian meal, with the result that the animal was sickly and tired like a strung-out junkie; or reading a pamphlet in my vet's office about cats who require rather serious medical treatment every year because their owners have imposed their own dietary choices on them.

Think things through, people. Honestly.
flavored with age

Me and the boys

I have a number of Styx songs competing for airtime in my head. "Lady" is crashing head-on into "Mr. Roboto", and both are morphing into a crappy mix of "Heavy Metal Poisoning". I cannot begin to tell you how unhappy this makes me.

The thing is, I try to give Styx the benefit of the doubt. I bought "Kilroy Was Here" (at full price!) on CD recently, while operating under some bizarre delusion that it was actually a lot better than people think. All it took was one listen to realize that, in fact, it's a lot worse than I thought. What I am saying is, it's a bad record. Verging on a terrible record, and probably one good song away from being an absolutely awful record. I used to say things like "Styx is a slightly less stupid Journey", but this sort of praising-by-faint-damn is exactly the sort of qualified insult that Styx inspires: if you can't say anything nice about a band, say something even less nice about another, similar band.

And the reason this is all so sad is, I want to like Styx. They're one of the few bands, like Nazareth and ELO, that I can clearly remember from my late-'70s suburban childhood, and even though my musical tastes tend to the more, well, obscure, I try to save a spot in my heart for these mushball childhood memories. And, best of all, Styx frontman Dennis DeYoung is a White Sox fan! In fact, Jesse Jackson and Mayor Daley aside (stop frontin', Dre), he's probably the most famous Sox fan in the world. Which is unbelievably depressing, if you think about it. (I try not to.)

So I try to be charitable. But every time I hear a Styx song, my charitable nature is defeated by their relentless shittiness. It's a hard life, being me.
flavored with age

Corporate ballpark #4,316

Speaking of my beloved Sox, it looks likely that they will rename their home field prior to opening day. Gone will be Comiskey Park (II), in its place will stand...

...US Cellular Ballpark.

Sigh. All games aside, all lames aside, this doesn't make much of a practical difference in my life; I never called it Comiskey Park (being as the Old Roman, Charlie Comiskey, was an evil, cheap, cruel, racist motherfucker), and I'll never call it US Cellular Ballpark. White Sox Park it has been, and White Sox Park it shall remain.

Anyway, could have been worse. There was serious talk of naming it Yahoo! Field. I have a feeling enough people call it that already.