A schediastic hootenanny

I went to a safety committee meeting for my job last night that turned into a big ol' drinkin' party. I had five tequila and tonics and good Lord they sure were fine. I'm glad I was never a big junkie or alcoholic so that I had to quit drinking, because man! I like drinking. I would be sad if I couldn't drink anymore. Let's hear it for drinking!

This love of drinking no doubt accounts for the shitty writing and enormous amount of typographical errors in my web log last night. Luckily, no one reads it, so I think I got away without anyone noticing.

I'm still searching for the one item of clothing I will look really good in. I think clown shoes might be the way to go.

Cal Thomas:
Israel, death-culture, destruction of the Jews, placating terrorists, blah blah blah.

Charles Krauthammer: All current international crises, from North Korea to Iraq to terrorism, are the fault of Bill Clinton.

Ann Coulter: Anti-war celebrities are talentless, drug-addicted, effeminate, illiterate, slutty, fag-loving Bolsheviks.

My dayness is all screwed up! Why isn't this Friday? I thought it was Friday.

Speaking, as I often do, about my web log, recently I've been thinking (being out of ideas as I am)of doing a weekly interview. Not with anyone famous, of course, because I wouldn't want to get anyone's heart rate up. Just with friends, acquaintances, or strangers who are willing to answer a bunch of idiotic questions and give me permission to put those answers on my site.

The normal procedure would be to post a call for interviewees on my web log, but as I have mentioned with numbing frequency, only six people read my log, and none of them respond to reader participation queries. So, I'll just throw this up here: if you read these words, whether I know you or I don't, and you're willing to answer some retarded interview questions, respond here or e-mail me at leonard at ludickid dot com and you will be immortalized on my Wall of Suckers in the very near future. A ripping good e-mail time is guaranteed for all parties involved.

I've had this in my file-of-stuff-to-post-one-of-these-days folder for quite a while. It's as relevant today as it was when I found it (while digging through Hannah Arendt's brilliant journalism from the Eichmann trial), and this will give me a chance to clear it out at what seems to be a suitable time.

"The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. . . . All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country."

(Hermann Goering, interviewed by a writer just before his suicide while awaiting trial at Nuremberg)

Tabloid journalists -- they're such a bother!
Always telling you what you should rather.
What your Martin Bashir
Sees as iffy and queer
Is just being a (quite) loving father.

And these cameramen! I'd like to deck 'em.
Show them special days, they'll up and wreck 'em.
They made dirty bones
Off of Ms. Zeta Jones --
Left the score two to nil (goals by Beckham).

But the worst of these scandal-detectors
Are the vultures who harry Phil Spector.
The blonde tart on his floor
Might have walked out the door
If he'd checked her just before he wrecked her.