February 21st, 2003

flavored with age

Can you feel it?

For some reason, LiveJournal has been hosed for me for several days. I know you have all been suffering -- I mean, feeling REAL PAIN -- at not being able to read about what I did all day, or what I've been shoving in my huge maw, or what I think about Marvin Olasky's latest ignorant screed.

Well, suffer no longer, my darlings. Here are five small entries for the price of one.

1. I think Redman is sort of underrated as a rapper. He's put out a handful of really solid solo albums, and is a great guest star, and yet he's really never gotten the props of guys who are much less talented. I realize this is an unpopular opinion, but I have never courted popularity.

2. Speaking of the hip to the hop, I haven't heard the new Roots album yet -- I have curiously ambivalent feelings about them -- but I just read an interview with them in THE SOURCE, the magazine so important it's capitalized. The most interesting thing about the article wasn't that it didn't mention Benzino even once, but that, well, everyone in the Roots seems to hate what they're doing except ?uestlove. They interviewed all of them, and there was this underlying curdled resentment, a feeling that there should be more airplay, more commercial stuff, less of the experimental joints like "Water". Scratch even came right out and said "fuck all this organic jazz shit" or something along those lines. Even Black Thought, who's the biggest ?uestlove loyalist, didn't have much to say about their direction. ?uest himself, of course, was oblivious. I dunno. I have a feeling we should enjoy them while we can, because I think they're going to self-destruct in about half a minute.

3. The other night, I was bored, I couldn't write, I couldn't sleep, and I was in a shitty mood because of all these things, so I got drunk, by myself. I started out by just pouring a Scotch and water to get the taste of the evening news out of my mouth, and I ended up drinking vodka straight from the bottle. I haven't done a boredom-and-frustration drunk in quite a long time. It's like a grudge fuck: nice to know you can have one once in a while, but not really anything out of which you should make a habit.

4. Speaking of writing, I did a bunch of it last night, finishing most of the current chapter of my shitty novel. I have no idea if it's any good or not, this chapter: the first re-read, it seemed horrible, but the second time through, after a little tightening, it didn't seem so bad. At any rate, here's a piece of advice for nothing: writing a fight scene totally fucking sucks.

5. I have about no money this weekend, but I'm still gonna see a movie, and I have been promised soup. The promise of soup fills me with joy. I'm easy to please.
flavored with age

Touchy strikes again

So there's this guy at my workplace. One of the engineers. This is Mr. Touch, the guy who likes flamenco version of "Lady in Red".

Well, yesterday, he puts up this e-mail urging a boycott of Saudi oil (and listing companies that buy oil from Saudi Arabia, and companies that don't), allegedly because of a Saudi boycott of American goods. Mr. Touch is very fonded of these specious e-mails, as well as e-mail joke lists and the like.

The HR director took down the e-mail, because it's against company policy to post explicitly political stuff like that. But somehow Mr. Touch gets the idea that I took it down, and he comes over and asks if I did it. I said, "Well, Mr. Touch, I didn't take it down." But me and my trenchant mouth: I added "But, you know, there is no Saudi boycott of U.S. goods. The alleged boycott is by a group of private citizens and is organized by a religious group, and has nothing to do with official Saudi government policy."

So, now he thinks it was me who took down his stupid e-mail just because it was stupid. There's no polite way for me to say "Hey, if it weren't for the company policy, I would fully support your right to post whatever retarded mass e-mails you choose here in the workplace."

However, due to this non-incident as well as my having disabused two guys in management of the notion that I am interested in hearing their racist anti-Arab jokes, I think I am developing a reputation around here as a person to avoid.

Yaaaaaay!
flavored with age

And now, a list of comic book villains who have something seriously wrong with their head

1. Dr. Doom (head is covered in metal face mask)
2. MODOK (has gigantic, hypertrophic head)
3. Arnim Zola (has small TV camera for head; has video image of face on screen imbedded in chest)
4. Psimon (brain is exposed under glass dome)
5. The Leader (huge, narrow head; called "Big Head" by the Hulk)
6. Ego, the Living Planet(head is the size of Asia)
7. Mysterio (head is encased in fishbowl)
8. Dormamuu (head is in flames)
9. The Supreme Skrull or whatever his name was (is nothing but a head, with little green worms poking out of scalp)
10. Chemo (head is giant plastic receptacle containing toxic chemicals; says "SSSSSSS! GURGLE". Also, is named 'Chemo', which is pronounced 'KIM-o' as in chemicals but looks like it should be pronounced 'KEE-mo' as in chemotherapy, which suggests that he is a supervillain who goes around irradiating people and making them bald even though they aren't sick.)

Man. Comics.
flavored with age

Interactive fun time!

I got beef lo mein from Lo's today, and here's what my fortune said:

"Your graciousness makes others feel at."

Now, I'm no fortunecookieologist, but I can't help feeling that there's a word missing here. So it's up to you to fill in the blank!

What does my graciousness make others feel at? Submit your suggestions. Best submission will receive the secret URL of a disturbing and/or entertaining mp3.