March 3rd, 2003

flavored with age

Waaah, waaah

Clever readers may notice that for some reason, I am sick again. Normally bull-like in my strength, fortitude and shit generation capabilities, I have for some reason been sick quite a lot over the last 12 months or so -- and I mean actually sick, as opposed to the fake sick that comes with hating your job. I actually like my current job, and yet I have been ill more times than I could count in the last year, assuming I was stricken with an illness that prevented me from counting past four.

Personally, I attribute my weakness to working in a poorly ventilated factory teeming with dust and dead rats. But then again, I do pay for this account, and I've never done a poll. So let's put it up to a vote: why am I so sick all the time, and what should I do about it?

Poll #108114 We are physiologically sick

Why is Leonard such a goddamn weak sister lately?

Because he is an old man
1(11.1%)
Because he drinks and gets high all the time
1(11.1%)
Because he lives in a filthy apartment and has questionable personal hygeine
1(11.1%)
Because God is punishing him
3(33.3%)
Because he is a big fat milk baby
3(33.3%)

How should Leonard respond to his wave of sickness?

By toughing it out like a man instead of a weak little kitten
2(22.2%)
By going to working and playing the martyr so everyone resents him
2(22.2%)
By staying home and reading 'Dazzler' comics all day
5(55.6%)
By continuing to drink and get high
0(0.0%)
By committing suicide
0(0.0%)
flavored with age

I am for to laboring now

Note, please, that in the previous poll, I wrote "going to working" instead of "going to work". This is not because I am a stereotypical Eastern European immigrant a la Tibor on "The Simpsons", but because I am hellsick and my brain (which is sort of iffy under the best of circumstances) is being kicked around by sinus pressure and cold medicine.

However, I kind of like it. I'm going to start saying this to the Roommate in the morning in a thick Lugash voice. "I AM GOING TO WORKING!"

She won't hear me, of course, because she goes to work before I do. But it's still kinda funny.
flavored with age

One last note before I collapse in a heap at my desk

Hey, two Simpsons references in the last post, and that's with half a bottle of the Tussin and the residue of about 8 drinks in me. Not bad.

A lot of times, at work, I will jot down, on whatever piece of paper I have handy, ideas for my log. Unfortunately, over the weekend, I left the piece of paper I was using for this purpose on my desk. Face up.

So, that means that whoever walked past my cubicle for the last three days has seen a piece of paper right by my computer that says, in big uppercase letters, "CRAPPY COMICS ROUNDUP", "THE CONTINUAL SHITTING DIET", and "PLAUSIBLE MASTURBATION FANTASIES".

Winning friends every day. That's what I'm about.