April 15th, 2003

flavored with age

Nullities of us all

Sure, everyone -- and by everyone, I mean homosexuals -- likes to play the "Is (celebrity) gay?" game. But there's so many more fun celebrity guessing games to play! Why eat vanilla every day when you can also eat vanilla swirl, vanilla twist, and super-double-vanilla with vanilla bitlets? Here's some more games. Let's play!

"Is (celebrity) high, and if so, on what?"

"How long ago did (celebrity)last have sex, and with whom?"

"What is (celebrity) doing right this very moment?"

"Could you beat (celebrity)'s ass in a knuckle fight?"

"What does (celebrity) smell like?"

Yes, just plug in the celebrity -- Jennifer Lopez, David Schwimmer, Vincent Gallo, Jenna Elfman, Antonio Fargas Jr. as Huggy Bear -- and you too can spend hours and hours contemplating the horribly degraded lives of the professionally famous. And then, write a limerick about it!
flavored with age

Telling choices

1. Jo/Blair
2. Morticia Addams/Marilyn Munster
3. Delerium/Death
4. Valerie/Kelly
5. Mary Ann/Ginger
6. Queen Latifah/Eve
7. Hopey Glass/Penny Century
8. Chelsea Clinton/Jenna Bush
9. Asia Carrera/Jenna Jameson
10. Christina Aguilera/Britney Spears
flavored with age

Let's see what the crazy nuts are up to today

We haven't checked in on the geniuses over at Little Green Footballs in a while, have we? Let's see what has their reactionary panties in a bunch today. Why, it's my imaginary alternative-comedy girlfriend, Janeane Garofalo! They have branded her the new Quisling for refusing to apologize for anti-war comments she made a few weeks back. Let's see how these level-headed titans of wit are making their dissatisfaction known.

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