June 6th, 2003

flavored with age

Whorin'

Today's Ludic Log: Part VII of the DC Who's Who smackdown. Now with that fucking retard Jimmy Olsen!

BONUS WHORIN': I need, for reasons that are not clear to me at the moment, to come up with a snappy title for the jokey rundowns of Who's Who/OHOTMU I've been doing for a while now. Unfortunately, I can't think of one. So I'm throwing it in y'all's laps. Come up with a title for this ridiculous feature, and I will send you a stupid comic book in the mail, along with a hostile, bizarre piece written by me just for you.

DOUBLE BONUS WHORIN': If anyone happens to have copies of OHOTMU beyond issue #5 that they are willing to part with, let me know, and I will pay you American cash money for them. Also you will have the questionable satisfaction of aiding this nameless, pointless endeavor.

TRIPLE KITTY BONUS WHORIN': I have also considered expanding this idiotic project to full stand-alone website length. This would involve writing geeky, semi-funny entries for all the characters in both OHOTMU and Who's Who, as well as scanning and posting particularly humorous pieces of art from the entries in in question. However, I don't have a scanner or a digital camera, and I don't have any intention of getting one just for this lame-ass idea. If any of you have (a) the comics in question, (b) a scanner or digital camera and (c) a WHOLE lot of time on your hands, give me a shout, and maybe we can work something out. What's in it for you? Fame, fortune, a co-creator credit, and the chance to be named in the lawsuit when Marvel and DC sue for copyright infringement.
flavored with age

In other news

Man, my LJ icons are lame. I need to get some new, less lame ones. "Less lame", in this context, would mean "not featuring pictures of me".

Has anyone but me and thaitea seen the new Bally's Fitness ads with the 'Pain in the Butt Workout'? And has anyone but me and thaitea judged them to be the single most annoying things in the world?

They have this woman, dressed as a dominatrix (which, you know, right away turns me off whatever product she's selling), cracking a whip and shouting at a bunch of painfully thin, toned supermodel types. She keeps talking about Bally's "Pain in the Butt Workout". She says "Pain in the Butt Workout" about a million times. And she has the most shrill, grating, harsh voice imaginable, which, when combined with her ridiculous appearance and the stupid dialogue she's saying and the fact that she keeps cracking this goddamn whip, makes you want to shoot her with whatever deadly weapon is within reach. Also, she says "butt" about a billion times in the commercial despite the fact that none of the women in the ad have any asses at all.

This commercial, and everyone involved with it, must die. I think special methods of death and a large Murderworld-like facility should be designed and implemented just for the writers, producers, technical crew and talent featured in this commercial.
flavored with age

Adventures in referral - band names edition

And now, a dozen bands suggested by search engine referrals that led to my website.

The Agape Shots (contemporary Christian rock)
Famous Mobsters (bling-bling gangsta lite)
Saddam Hussein’s Doubles (left-wing aggro-punk)
Schwarzenegger, Son of Nazi (cerebral art-prog)
The Parlor Tricks (shitty blues-rock jam band)
The Hip-Hop Republicans (awful white-boy campus joke band)
Enormou (French jazz-fusion)
Popularity Pornography (post-hardcore with lots of funky bass)
Drawings of the Invisible Girl (shoegazer twee)
The Patriotic Sandals (loud, noisy retro-college rock)
Dreamer’s Strip Club (would-be 'smart' metal, terrible lyrics)
Diamondback America (big-hair country for wrestling fans)