June 16th, 2003

flavored with age

The War of Desire

I like going to bars with my friends and drinking a lot.

I don't like being hung over at work the next day.

The obvious solution, of course, would be to quit working. And yet this is simply not feasible. What kind of society to we live in? I ask you.

In other pathetic-old-drunk news, I have lately gotten into the habit of checking the Sausage page on my website (if you don't know, you better ask somebody, kid) to remember what I did the previous week. How pitiful is that? My memory has been so assailed by drink, drugs, and age that I have to look at my website to remember what I was doing.

Tonight is White Sox baseball against the Red Sox of Boston. I will be in the right field bleachers, praying for Sox-on-Sox violence, since hoping for a win is probably a big waste of time. The game may be forgettable, but at least I have the internet to remind me I was there.
flavored with age

Stupidest story ever

So my friend James was in town last week for Cousin Dave's wedding. (Shout out and big congratulations to Cousin Dave and to Casey, a.k.a. Mrs. Cousin Dave!) And since the wedding was on Friday, and his flight was Saturday night, we made plans to go see The Hulk before I hauled him off to catch his flight back to AZ.

Unfortunately, we failed to notice (see previous post re: drugs, alcohol & age and their effect on memory) that The Hulk does not, in fact, open until the 20th of June. So, naturally, since we couldn't go see the movie, we did the next best thing: we got high and hung out at the baggage claim of the airport.

Man, I tell you something. High or not-high, there is some prime entertainment to be had watching people disembark from their flights at the airport. If I were calamityjon, I would make "TRAGIC AIRPORT FREAK BINGO", with squares representing:

- Angry Businessman Barking Into a Cell Phone
- Overly Tanned Blonde Woman with Orange, Leathery Skin
- Man Wearing Golf Hat and His Embarrassed Wife
- Insufferable Yuppie with Skis and Eight Carry-Ons
- Guy Who Was Just Released from Prison
- Elderly Couple Trying to Figure Out How to Use the Luggage Cart
- Bedraggled Couple with Manic, Screaming Child
- Tiny Asian Woman with Suitcase Three Times Her Size
- Lame Couple with Souvenir T-Shirts They Bought at the Airport They Just Left
- Lucky Hunchback with Athletic Socks Pulled Up to His Knees

And so on. Your entries welcome, like it's for a goddamn project or something.