September 18th, 2003

flavored with age

Exceptionally relevant quote for today

"You know the best thing I did for myself in the past five years? I told sports to go take a flying fuck. I was fed up with the way I related to professional sports, so I reordered the relationship on my own terms.

"I realized I was wasting perfectly good emotional energy by sticking with my teams when they were doing poorly. My rooting life was scarcely better than those Cubs fans who think it's a sign of character to feel shitty all the time. It's absurd.

"I decided it's not necessary to suffer and feel crappy just because my teams suck. What I do now is cut 'em loose for a while. I simply let them go about losing, as I go about living my life. Then, when they've improved, and are doing well once again, I get back on board and enjoy their success. Yeah, I know, I can hear it: diehard, asshole loyal sports fans screaming 'Front-runner!' Goddamn right! Don't be so fuckin' juvenile. Teams are supposed to provide pleasure and entertainment, not depression and disappointment.

"It is also completely unnecessary to suffer several days' emotional devastation just because your team loses. Why on earth would you place your happiness and peace of mind in the hands of several dozen strangers? Listen, folks, if they win, fine; if they lose, fuck 'em! Let them practice more. As for yo, for Chrissakes find something to do! Get your ass down to the massage parlor and spring for a blow job."

So what am I saying? Am I saying I'm done with the goddamn White Sox? Nah. I've got too much wrapped up in them to give up forever. I'll still go to the games, because I love to go to baseball games. But something has to give. I'm sick and tired of feeling like shit all the time because 25 strangers can't do their job. I have way too much emotional investment in their success, and after 15 years of disappointments, it's obvious that particular investment isn't paying any dividends. It's time to get real about this and treat it the way I do going to a movie. If the movie's good, I'm happy; but if the movie sucks, I don't go into a fucking funk for a week because I'm so let down by the movie. It's time to cut 'em loose for a while.