November 21st, 2003

flavored with age

Whorin'

Today’s Ludic Log: OHOTMU, issue #8 gets the nod in our comic book geeklopedia series. Do not miss this amazing installment, in which I flagrantly cheat by discussing characters who aren't even in the book just because I hate them so much!

Also: MODOK! MODOK!!!
flavored with age

The continuing mental disintegration of James Lileks

In his latest 'Daily Bleat', James "Horowitz-in-Training" Lileks has some harsh words for Sala'am Pax. Pax, as you may know, is the proprietor of the "Dear Raed" blog, which alerted Americans as to the situation on the ground when we launched our recently-admitted-to-be-illegal-by-Richard-Perle war. In a recent article, Pax suggests that there's something wrong with Bush's postwar reconstruction, and -- having made the decision to clean up Iraq -- is looking for easy ways to bail out now that things have gotten ugly.

Well, a certain person would like to make it known that in his opinion, Pax -- who, unlike James "Time to Drop Another Two Grand at Target" Lileks, is an actual Iraqi who actually lives in actual Iraq, has actually seen his actual friends actually die at the hands of both Saddam Hussein's and George Bush's forces, and actually knows what it's actually like to actually live under both a totalitarian dictatorship and a foreign military occupation -- is insufficiently grateful to our benevolent president.

But let's let Jimmy speak for himself.

LILEKS TO PAX: SUCK IT, RAGHEAD


Hey, Salam? Fuck you.

FRANTIC DISPATCHES FROM CITY UNDERGOING NIGHT BOMBING DESCRIBED AS "GIGGLY"

I know you’re the famous giggly blogger who gave us all a riveting view of the inner circle before the war, and thus know more about the situation than I do. Granted.

THE IMPORTANT THING IS, WHITE PEOPLE ARE DYING

But there’s a picture on the front page of my local paper today: third Minnesotan killed in Iraq.

YOU'RE A COWARD, JUST LIKE ALL THOSE JEWS IN GERMANY

He died doing what you never had the stones to do: pick up a rifle and face the Ba’athists. You owe him.

SADDAM'S SUCCESS DIRECTLY ATTRIBUTABLE TO SALA'AM PAX'S COWARDICE

Let me explain this in simple terms, habibi...what’s certain is that none of your pals would ever have gotten rid of that “scary guy without the hideous moustache” (as if his greatest sin was somehow a fashion faux pas) and the Saddam regime would have prospered into the next generation precisely because of people like you. People who would rather have lived their life in low-level fear than change your situation.

MY OWN LIFE OF TOTAL COMFORT IS BESIDE THE POINT

I understand; I would have done the same. I’m not brave enough to start a revolution. I wouldn’t have grabbed a gun and charged a palace. I would lived like you. Head down, eyes wary. When the man’s too strong, the man’s too strong.

RICH AMERICAN SUBURBANITE FEELS HE MUST REMIND FOREIGNERS OF EVENTS THAT OCCURED IN THEIR OWN LIVES

But let me quote from a Guardian story on your life: “Like all Iraqis, Salam was familiar with the dangers. At least four of his relatives had gone missing. In the past year, for no apparent reason, one of his friends was summarily executed, shot in the head as he sat in his car, and two others were arrested; one was later freed and another, a close friend, has never returned.”

EXISTENCE OF PREVIOUS GREATER INJUSTICE DISALLOWS CRITICISM OF CURRENT INJUSTICE

The rug was soaked before we got there, friend.

I USE THIS SAME LINE AGAINST AMERICAN LIBERALS

Cut the clever café pose; drop the sneer. That “Rambo” crap is old.

RECOGNITION OF BOTCHED MILITARY OCCUPATION AND SHORT-SIGHTED FOREIGN POLICY A SIGN OF IMMATURITY

Iraq needs grown-ups. Be one.

There you have it, folks: if someone helps you solve a problem, you are never allowed to criticize them ever again no matter what they do. Since America helped Iraq get rid of Saddam Hussein, the "grown-up" thing to do is to shut up and not say anything about the problems caused by the American occupation, just like it is the duty of all French and German people to never criticize America since we helped beat Hitler. And if a plumber stops your house from flooding, it's okay if he breaks your windows with a crowbar, because the flooding would have been worse. So SHUT UP.