December 17th, 2003

flavored with age

Way to be, Johnny

So, let me get this straight.

John Ashcroft, our current attorney general -- the one who writes patriotic country songs, anoints himself with cooking oil, and ordered the statue of Justice veiled -- was running for his senate seat in Missouri. It just so happened that his opponent was dead, but he was losing anyway.

Faced with the humiliation that would surely ensue if the citizens of Missouri passed him over for a corpse, Ashcroft cheats.

And he loses anyway.

Are you following me here? A man who CHEATS in an election against a DEAD PERSON and STILL LOSES is the highest law enforcement officer in the nation.