April 14th, 2004

flavored with age

50 ways to get ya

WAYS IN WHICH THIS YEAR'S WHITE SOX OPENING DAY WAS BETTER THAN LAST YEAR'S:

1. Paul Konerko hit a three-run bomb
2. rum_holiday and I had really good CF bleacher seats instead of being up in the nosebleeds
3. I met my pal Claire afterwards and drank beers
4. There wasn't three and a half hours of freezing rain beforehand
5. We actually watched the game instead of leaving after three and a half hours of freezing rain

WAYS IN WHICH "KILL BILL VOL. 2" IS NOT AS GOOD AS "KILL BILL VOL. 1"

1. Darryl Hannah is a much worse actress than Lucy Liu
2. there isn't an overwhelmingly great fight scene like the Crazy 88s/House of Blue Leaves sequence
3. less energy overall
4. steals even more flagrantly than its predecessor
5. when I saw Vol. 1, I wasn't sitting behind a guy who was 9 feet tall

WAYS IN WHICH "KILL BILL VOL. 2" IS BETTER THAN "KILL BILL VOL. 1"

1. better-done, technically speaking
2. evil midget!
3. Uma is even hotter than before
4. snappier dialogue, not in Japanese (mostly)
5. Gordon Liu (who dies 35 times in the first movie and returns in this one as the kung fu master Pai Mei) is the kung fuiest kung fu kung fu master ever and he is so fucking kung fu great that I kung fu shit myself

Now, somebody help me think of questions to ask Carradine, already.