May 17th, 2004

flavored with age

The rundown

- There was just a bit on NPR about how some Catholic dioceses find the new audit system to detect sexual abuse "intrusive and unnecessary". You know what else is intrusive and unnecessary? Getting fucked up the ass by a priest when you're eleven years old.

- Supreme nerd moment of the week: I was walking around in the park listening to my shiny new iPod, Misty. I've got it on shuffle, see, and it so happens that I listen to a lot of an artist called the Quiet American, who's this San Francisco-based dude who does a lot of ambient recording and found sound. He recommends you listen to his work on headphones for maximum aural impact, since a lot of it is very subtle, almost silent environmental sound; and it so happens that Misty comes with a dandy pair of bud headphones. So I'm walking through the park, and all of the sudden, I hear all these little girls' voices, and they're laughing! Laughing at me! So, moron that I am, I actually spin around, looking hither and thataway for where these smart-ass kids are and why the hell they're laughing at me.

Of course, it was actually one of the Quiet American's Burmese field recordings of villagers around a communal well. It had just been good enough sound quality that I didn't immediately recognize it as such. So, I actually managed to look like even more of a moron than if real girls had laughed at me for walking around with my dingus out or whatever.

- Man, for real, if you haven't gone to see Guy Maddin's new flick "The Saddest Music in the World", do it. DO IT. It's beautiful, it's amazing to look at, it's funny, it's got fine performances by Mark McKinney and the ever-gorgeous Isabella Rossellini...one of the only movies ("Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" is the other) I've seen this year as a critic that I went back and paid to see again. And how often do you get to see a movie where someone has prosthetic legs made of glass and filled with beer?

Poll #294526 WHICH REMINDS ME

Who is the greatest modern Canadian film director?

Guy Maddin
4(26.7%)
David Cronenberg
4(26.7%)
Atom Egoyan
1(6.7%)
Canadian WHAT now?
4(26.7%)
MAN CANADA SUXXX!!!1!! U.S.A. ROOLZ
2(13.3%)
flavored with age

MONDAY SHITLIST, PIP 4: I'll Show You the Death of the Mind!

As you know, I've started a new Monday tradition here in the Skullbucket. It's called the Monday Shitlist, and it's where I ask you, my beloved and deeply sexy readership, to talk about the very worst the world has to offer. As always, feel free to answer in comments, and to post the question on your own doohickeys as well.

Today's topic: books.

Now, everyone who reads has read bad books. I myself have read thousands and thousands of books, and a lot of them were bad. Some were bad because they were disappointing (Walter Moseley's "Blue Light"); some were bad because they were incompetent (Jay McInerney's "Story of My Life"); some were bad because they were offensive (Andrea Dworkin's "Pornography: Possessing Women"); some were bad because they were incomprehensible (Laurence Rickels' "The Case of Califonia"); and some were bad because they just flat-out sucked (a men's adventure novel about a kung fu master -- I can't remember the name of the book or the series -- that was probably the worst thing I've ever read in terms of pure bad writing; it was the Plan 9 from Outer Space of books).

So, tell me: what are five of the worst books you've ever read in your life?

(Note: I have been chided for not answering my own questions for the Monday Shitlists. So you'll find my response in Comments.)
flavored with age

ATTENTION PEOPLE FROM THE CITY OF "BROTHERLY HOMOSEXUAL LOVE"

Especially you, manningkrull:

I might be driving out to Phila this October to read at a literary festival. I need to know a couple things about your town, to which I hain't never beened.

1. Is parking a goddamn nightmare? I understand it's only about a 12-15 hour drive from Chic, which is why I'm considering driving instead of flying, but if I'm gonna get crazy hassle with parking, I'll just get a damn plane ticket.

2. Am I gonna be able to get a hotel room without going bankrupt? Or, failing that, how likely am I to be murdered by vagrants if I sleep behind a Dumpster?

3. Who gone show me a goooooood tahm?