Yahoo! is hyping all this allegedly fancy-pants new stuff they've added to their Messenger service (I dunno, I use Fire). And on the Yahoo! front page, it has this, the most retarded picture ever:

Okay, not only the first girl wearing the most utterly fake smile since that tooth whitening commercial where the gaggle of braying donkey-women accuse a woman of having a new boyfriend and she denies it while THE WHOLE TIME MAKING A SHOCKED DENIAL FACE AND ALSO SMILING THE MOST HIDEOUSLY FAKE OPEN-MOUTH-WITH-600-TEETH-SHOWING SMILE IN THE HISTORY OF CREATION, but also, what is the conversation here? Why are they whispering when we can see the huge smiley balloons over their heads? And what to these smileys mean, exactly?
(a)
GIRL 1: "I am embarrassed."
GIRL 2: "Shut up."
(b)
GIRL 1: "I am shy."
GIRL 2: "Shut up."
(c)
GIRL 1: "Are you as drunk as I am?"
GIRL 2: "Yeah, but keep it under the hat you're not wearing."
(d)
GIRL 1: "I accidentally super-glued my hand to my cheek."
GIRL 2: "OMG no way!
I accidentally super-glued my finger to my nose!"
(e)
GIRL 1: "The way you put your tongue in my ear makes me have certain feelings."
GIRL 2: "SHUT THE FUCK UP, seriously."
Hey, Yahoo! Matches! Here's one: your marketing and my ass!