June 16th, 2004

flavored with age

Whorin'

Today's Ludic Log: Game cocks.

Special bonus whorin': I finally updated the entries that I missed over the weekend, and during the week when my old computer died. So, plenty o' Ludic Log fun for those of you who are bored or desperate. Also, my apologies for the utter lameness of my LJ lately, but I've been working very late and have been ridiculously busy recently. I shall try to have some actual content one of these weeks.
flavored with age

I've got VISUAL AIDS! Haw haw

I just got hadnded, by one of the engineers, a newsletter called "WORKING SMARTER WITH MICROSOFT EXCEL". Which is funny because even though they pay me thirty cents an hour and a handful of bees, I am probably the most proficient person in the joint with Excel, so why would you give me a newsletter with all these moron-level pointers in it? Keep it for yourselves, ya dimwits, you're the ones who are always coming to me for help and not the twither way around.

Anyway, it has a "hilarious" cartoon in it and I want to tell you about it because I think...I THINK...it may be the stupidest cartoon of all time. I wish I could just scan it, but we the common rabble of this company are not entrusted with access to a scanner lest we post pictures of our taints on line all day or something. Anyway, here's what it is.

A badly drawn cartoon man is sitting at a badly drawn cartoon desk in front of a badly drawn cartoon computer. He looks scared (frowny face, bugged-out eyes, shaky motion lines around his head and the the chair). Why is he scared? Because outside his window is a badly drawn thingamabop that looks like a combination of a ghost and an alien. Perhaps it is an alien ghost, or perhaps it is the ghost of an alien. At any rate, is is grinning in a sinister fashion and scaring the computer man. And the caption says:

He must be opening a new x-file.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? Where's the joke? What is an x-file? Is this supposed to be a pun? If so, what's the reference? Okay, "The X-Files", aliens, sure, but how does this relate to Excel? Do people call Excel files x-files? Because if so, I've never heard it. Do ghost alien alien ghosts show up every time this schmuck creates a new Excel file? Or am I missing the joke? And why would you make an X-Files pun, if pun yaar be, in 2004? Isn't that a bit dated even for a training newsletter? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?