June 25th, 2004

flavored with age

Dropping a dime on myself

So last night thaitea and I went to LOCAL CHAIN STORE, and I bought a whole shitload of stuff. I mean a whole honking "pay it later, debt slave!" shitload. First, to get the selfish-indulgence part of our program out of the way, I finally splurged on some Heroclix (hey, calamityjon, since I blame you for this, what was your final verdict on this? The rules look ridiculously overcomplex for a game involving plastic superhero toys and cardboard cutouts of a motorcycle. And where was the post where you did your HeroClix mods? I ask because I am a nerd.), and I bought the Godfather box set on DVD (which was probably a waste of $20 over buying them individually, since I have little to no intention of ever watching Godfather III: The Wrath of Sofia again).

In the Leonard-attempts-to-act-like-an-adult-human department, I bought some towels and washcloths, some rugs, some new clothes, and, in a moment of true consumer shock-horror, a few new sets of sheets. In case I haven't told this story already, the window directly over my bed FELL OUT OF THE FUCKING FRAME and shattered into a million pieces sometime on Tuesday. Luckily, I was at work instead of home asleep, so I was not horribly killed by being shredded into tiny bloody slivers, but the sheets that I had on the bed were pretty well infested with tiny shards of glass, which would make sleeping a dodgy proposition. Also, many of my sheets and pillowcases are getting really skanky, being as they are probably over a decade old and I don't even really remember where I got them. So I decided to take some extra $ I made from writing and spring for some new sheets, just as if I wasn't a subhuman pig who lives in an environment constructed entirely out of thrift store refuse. What I didn't know is that buying sheets is a horribly complicated endeavor, involving knowledge of what size of bed you have, what "Egyptian cotton" is, how to buy individual sheets if you don't want a fitted set (which I don't, since I sleep on a futon), what the fuck "thread count" means (I'm still murky on this one), and other terms entirely alien to my experience like "pillow sham" and "bedskirt". Also, no one bothered to tell me that SHEETS ARE INCREDIBLY FUCKING EXPENSIVE. I mean, if you want cotton rather than some shitty poly-blend of fake fiber (despite being impoverished and a shitty housekeeper, I prefer to buy stuff made of wood, metal, glass and natural fibers to stuff made of plastic and junk), you're gonna pay like thirty fucking dollars for one lousy sheet. I don't know why I thought this, but I assumed a sheet was like five or ten bucks. It isn't. I ended up buying four sets of sheets and I paid enough to buy several new futons for them. I demand that someone come over and have sex with me on these sheets, just so I can feel that it was worth it.

(On excruciatingly long-awaited edit, thanks very much LiveJournal: I also bought, built and mounted a little shelving unit for the bathroom, so that I can further indulge in my worst habit. No, not weed. No, not pornography. No, not drinking, either! I refer, of course, to READING IN THE SHOWER. I filled that little wooden bastard with books and will now be wasting more hot water than ever.)