July 7th, 2004

flavored with age

Bonus Whorin' -- Live Edition

Hey, Inchicagoans and Nearchicagoans: I will be reading a couple of pieces as part of the ongoing SPEC/Diatribe Media series. You can see-me-hear-me-shake-my-hand this Saturday night, July 10th, at 7:30PM at MoJoe's Cafe, located at 2256 W. Roscoe here on Chicago's lovely northwest side. Come meet me, and listen to me perform stuff you've already read!
flavored with age

Take these, boys, in lieu of that other thing

So, in lieu of the Monday Shitlist, here's a thing you can play with. Lately, there have been some notions which I generally find to be accurate which I am considering promoting to the category of truism. Once they become truisms, I will defend them as universally correct and apply all the tortured logic at my disposal in order to demonstrate their universality. They will also receive a handsome commemorative gold watch, a chateau in Switzerland, and all the raccoon pussy they can handle.

Before I do, though, I want to put them through a rigorous vetting process. Below is a list of several of these truisms; the space provided is for you to give me any counter-examples you can think of. (I have actually already thought of exceptions for #3 and #4, so it shouldn't be too hard, except for the first one, which I believe is ironclad.) Have fairy-fun.

Poll #317555 Prove Me Wrong!

No movie director with only one name has ever been any good.

The length of time during which any given band does its most interesting and worthwhile work is no longer than seven years.

Writers who come to comics after having achieved success in other media put out lousy work.

If a novel contains more than five poems, or if the novel begins with a poem, it will suck.

Leonard Pierce is a sackoshit cowboy who never did nuthin for nobunny.

flavored with age


For those keeping track of this nonsense, here's some of the stuff I bought during my recent consumer spree (final tally: nine dead, seventeen injured, and a brand-new hat for young Gilligan):

- National Lampoon's 1964 High School Yearbook, 39th Reunion Edition
- Black Tents of Arabia, Carl R. Raswan
- Buffy the Chump-Sucker Season 6 on DVD
- Seaguy issues #1 & 2
- Sociolinguistics, R.A. Hudson
- True Believers: The Tragic Inner Life of Sports Fans, Joe Queenan
- Blood Simple on DVD
- The Chronicles of Conan Vol. 2: Rogues in the House, Roy Thomas & Barry Windsor-Smith
- Kyle Baker: Cartoonist, Kyle Baker
- Alias Vol. 2: Come Home, Brian Michael Bendis & Michael Gaydos
- The Ninth Configuration on DVD
- McSweeney's #13 (the comics issue)
- Pocket Universe: The Collected Rare Bit Fiend Vol. 2, Rick Veitch
- The Sweet Smell of Success on DVD
- Mingus Mingus Mingus Mings, Charles Mingus
- La Perdida #4 by Jessica Abel & The Pogostick #2 by Al Columbia & Ethan Persoff
- Hsu and Chan #1 by Norm Scott & Challengers of the Unknown #1 by Howard Chaykin & Michelle Madsen
- La Perdida #4 by Jessica Abel & The Pogostick #2 by Al Columbia & Ethan Persoff
- Formerly Known as the Justice League #5-6 by Giffen/DeMatteis & Identity Crisis #1 by Meltzer/Morales
- The Unvanquished by William Faulkner & Eclipse by John Banville
- The Incredible Hulk Vol. 1, The Avengers Vol. 1 & The Amazing Spider-Man Vol. 3, Stan Lee & Jack Kirby (all part of the Marvel Masterworks series for evil fuckers like me who shell out money to sinister corporate juggernaut Barnes & Noble so we can get reprints of old comics cheap (unlike the fifty-dollar DC reprint books) and on good-quality color paper (unlike the crappy black-and-white Marvel Essentials series)

Of course, I spent all my money on this stuff instead of getting that heart surgery I need, so I'll be dead in six seconds, but what are you gonna do.