August 19th, 2004

flavored with age

US Court System Replaced By Television Advertising

G.O.P. CANDIDATE UNEXPECTEDLY USES FEARMONGERING AND XENOPHOBIA IN CAMPAIGN AD

CHARLOTTE, N.C. - A Pakistani man charged with immigration violations after filming Charlotte skyscrapers is described as a "terrorist" who came to the country "to kill you" in a new television ad from a North Carolina congressional candidate. Vernon Robinson began airing the ad days before his runoff election Tuesday in a Republican primary against state Sen. Virginia Foxx.

BRAVE AUTHORITIES END REIGN OF VIDEOTAPING-OF-BUILDINGS TERROR

Kamran Akhtar, arrested July 20, has been in custody ever since on immigration charges and on charges he made false statements to officers. Authorities say he also videotaped buildings in Dallas, Houston and Las Vegas, and an investigation into whether he has ties to terrorism is ongoing. His family has said Akhtar is a video buff.

SLEAZY LAWYER ATTEMPTS TO FREE CLIENT ON BOGUS "NO HEARING, TRIAL OR CONVICTION" TECHNICALITY

Akhtar's attorney, George Miller, called the political ad "grossly unfair." Miller told the Charlotte Observer, "We haven't even had a probable cause hearing. There's been no trial. There's been nothing."

MIDDLE EASTERN + ARRESTED = TERRORIST

Stricter enforcement of immigration laws has been a central issue in Robinson's campaign. His new ad shows a picture of Akhtar. "When Vernon said our unguarded Mexican border was a threat to our national security, the liberals laughed," an announcer says in the ad. "They're not laughing anymore. This is Pakistani terrorist Kamran Akhtar. He got arrested videotaping targets in Charlotte, North Carolina. He came here illegally, across our Mexican border."

CANDIDATE PLANS TO SHUT DOWN MEXICAN BORDER, SOMEHOW

Then Robinson speaks: "I'm Vernon Robinson and I approve this message because Akhtar didn't come here to live the American dream. He came here to kill you. In Congress, I will shut that border down."

IF IT QUACKS LIKE A DUCK AND WE'RE IN WAR TIME, THEN WHAT YOU GOT THERE IS, UH, A, UM, A WAR DUCK

Robinson doesn't apologize for the ad. "If it quacks like a duck and we're in war time, I think it's a fair assessment," he said.

AND I KNOW, BECAUSE, WELL, I JUST DO

"He wasn't a tourist (and) wasn't here to study architecture."
flavored with age

Pissed-off Crank Week continues

FROM THE WASHINGTON POST

The question: Which presidential campaign better tolerates dissent?

The experiment: A college professor wears a Kerry-Edwards shirt to a rally for President Bush, then a Bush for President shirt to a John Kerry rally.

Result: Bush people make the subject remove his shirt, then give him the boot. The Kerry people don't make a peep.


LIBERAL INTELLECTUAL ZERO-VALUES HUMANIST JUST DOESN'T GET IT

John Prather, a math professor at Ohio University's Eastern Campus, says he carried out this one-man study a couple of weeks ago, attending both rallies in one day.

SUPPORTING OPPOSING CANDIDATE = DISRUPTIVE

It turns out the Bush-Cheney campaign acts preemptively against what it regards as suspicious attendees. Spokesman Terry Holt told us yesterday: "Unfortunately, there have been a number of people who have sought to be disruptive, and unfortunately a small disruptive presence can ruin an event for the rest of the people who go to see the president and participate in the event."

SO, YOU HAVE COMRADES IN THE MOTHERLAND, HERR PRATHER?

Prather, who lives in Wheeling, W.Va., describes himself as a "moderate Democrat" who voted for Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush. He had a ticket to an afternoon Bush rally July 31 in Cambridge, Ohio. At the first ring of security, Prather says he was told to turn his Kerry shirt inside out. He did. At the second ring, he was told to remove the shirt. He did, then donned a soccer T-shirt. "I was in for 10 or 15 minutes," he recalls, when security escorted him out. It was before the president arrived.

IT'S ONLY DISSENT WHEN YOU'RE DISSENTING AGAINST THE RIGHT PEOPLE

A few hours later, he entered the Kerry rally, in Wheeling, wearing his Bush shirt. "Nobody said anything to me. I took the Bush shirt off after it was clear no one was watching me, and put on the Kerry shirt."

SURE, AND LOSE ME "BUSH SUXXXXXX OK!!K!!!!!!!11" T-SHIRT?

The professor realizes that this limited sample does not provide a sturdy conclusion, and offers an assignment: "I would encourage other people to carry out the experiment."