September 14th, 2004

flavored with age

Jarred in the yard

So the students at Gordon Tech, as some sort of class project, were all given a bunch of multi-colored sidewalk chalk and encouraged to write their thoughts about school on the big slabs of concrete out in front of the place. Which just happens to be right along my path to work every morning.

A lot of them are cheerfully banal ("School is awesome - Gordon Tech rocks - my friends are cool"; a lot of them are whiny, but equally banal ("I have too much homework - my old school was better - the teacher yelled at me because I was late"), and some of them are embarrassingly artsy and 'poetic' (I'm guessing this is a function of the school going co-ed, thus unleashing a torrent of teenage Latina Sylvia Plaths on the sidewalks of Albany Park).

But the best one, at least in terms of being really strange, is this lengthy gloom-and-angst-ridden thing written in gangbanger graffiti lettering. I don't remember exactly what it says (I'll try and snag a picture of it this week if it's not too faded), but it's basically "DARKNESS FALLS ON THE CAMPUS...WE ARE HUSTLED INTO LITTLE BOXES...THE TEACHERS ALL PRETEND TO CARE...BUT NO ONE REALLY CARES". Typical depressed-teenager stuff. But the best part is, this text, in full-on Latin Kings tagger-script, is contained in a word balloon coming out of a really stylized drawing of Homer Simpson. Man! You tell it, Homer! Stupid uncaring world!
flavored with age

AXIOMATIC PRINCIPLES OF WEATHER CHANNEL HURRICANE COVERAGE

You see, he feels like Ivan
Born under the Kingston sun
His game is called survivin'
At the end of The Harder They Come


1. People must be interviewed in the course of boarding up their houses.

2. These people must all be wearing neon-colored gimme caps.

3. Stock footage of a similar big hurricane in the mid-1970s must be shown.

4. An on-the-spot reporter, culled from the ranks of local news programs, must be seen wearing a bright blue or yellow jacket from the North Face.

5. It must be mentioned that even those not in the hurricane's path will be affected.

6. There must be at least one jarring visual image, such as a stop sign, truck roof, or roof-mounted satellite dish poking up through floodwaters.

7. People in foreign countries which have been hit by the storm should not be interviewed. Their dead must be referred to in grave tones, however.

8. The primary visual in all short clips not focused on swaying trees, sunken road signs or gimme-capped men with hammers should be automobiles: getting out of town, getting bogged down in water, being tossed about by 160-mile-per-hour winds. It is better that they be expensive cars.

9. Local weather must be given every ten minutes without fail.

10. A mention of the hurricane's wrath must be made.
flavored with age

Florida: coconut trees, banana republics

WE DON'T LISTEN TO COURTS UNLESS THEY FIND IN OUR FAVOR

MIAMI (Reuters) - Independent presidential candidate Ralph Nader's name can appear on Florida ballots for the election, despite a court order to the contrary, Florida's elections chief told officials on Monday in a move that could help President Bush in the key swing state.

HEY, I HAD TO DEFY THE LAW! THERE'S ALL THIS BAD WEATHER!

In a memo to Florida's 67 county supervisors of elections, Division of Elections director Dawn Roberts said the uncertainty of Hurricane Ivan, which could hit parts of the state by week's end, forced her to act.

GOD ONCE AGAIN ASKED TO PLAY ROLE IN PARTISAN POLITICS

Florida Circuit Court Judge Kevin Davey issued a temporary injunction last week preventing the state from putting Nader on the 2004 ballot, siding with a Democratic challenge that the Reform Party did not qualify as a national party under state law. A hearing on a permanent injunction is scheduled for Wednesday. But Roberts said Hurricane Ivan, which is headed for Florida's Gulf coast, had raised "a substantial question as to when such a hearing" will be held.

YOU KNOW, THE SAME ABSENTEE BALLOTS THE FLORIDA G.O.P. HAS URGED ALL REPUBLICANS IN THE STATE TO USE INSTEAD OF THE DIEBOLD MACHINES

As a result, she said, Florida's Department of State had filed an appeal against the temporary injunction. The appeal application automatically lifts the injunction, allowing the counties to put Nader's name on overseas absentee ballots, which must be mailed by Saturday.

WHINY DEMOCRATS DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW POLITICS WORK

"I'm in disbelief," said Scott Maddox, chairman of the Florida Democratic Party. "This is blatant partisan maneuvering on the part of Jeb Bush to give his brother a leg up on election day."

WHAT PART IS ASTOUNDING, EXACTLY?

"They are trying to get ballots printed with Nader's name on them," said Maddox. "I am astounded that Jeb Bush is willing to defy the judiciary to help his brother."

I TOTALLY AGREE WITH THE DECISION WHICH WILL BY A TOTAL COINCIDENCE HELP MY BROTHER WIN THE ELECTION

Gov. Bush said he agreed with Roberts' decision. "It's up to the judge to determine, based on the law, whether Nader should be on the ballot or not," Bush said. "But while that process goes on, we cannot put ourselves in the position where the ministerial role of the supervisors cannot be fulfilled."

YOUR PUNY FACTS MATTER NOT TO US, HU-MAN

Maddox noted that Tallahassee, the state capital where Davey sits, is not expected to be directly hit by the hurricane. He said the circuit court could hear the case as scheduled on Wednesday and rule immediately.

I HAVE THIS EERIE SENSATION OF DEJA VU

In addition, the case is before the Florida Supreme Court, which could also rule at any time, he said.
flavored with age

I could screw around with my interests lists all day

INTERESTS I AM SURPRISED THAT I SHARE WITH OTHER PEOPLE: crazy eyebrows, fuck you schoolboy, Harry Stephen Keeler, hillbilly culture, Jack ‘King’ Kirby, Prez, that guy!

INTERESTS I AM SURPRISED THAT I DON’T SHARE WITH OTHER PEOPLE: buddha sack, dating Uma Thurman, genrefucking, masturpation, naked lay-teez, overusing the word ‘retarded’, shaking the crime stick

INTERESTS THAT I AM NOT SURPRISED THAT ARE MINE ALONE: American Milk Solids Council, doll ideology, emulating Henry Darger, songs about mules, spinning high-tension wires