October 14th, 2004

flavored with age

Apaaaaaaahtment

So we went to look at the (possible) new place last night, and I was very pleasantly surprised. It's a bit smaller (though not by much), and I'll lose my garage space (for the time being), but the rent is only a tiny bit higher (and, technically, we'll be paying less, since we won't have the garage) for a place that I think is a marked improvement.

It's got hardwood floors rather than the shabby office carpet we have here. It's got a MUCH nicer kitchen -- a newish stove and two ovens, as well as what appears to be plentiful counter space. The bathroom is a lot more spacious than the closet we have now. There appears to be a lot more natural light in the kitchen and dining room. There's no back patio, which I'm really going to miss, but there is a small back yard, so we'd still be able to have parties, and possibly a small garden. It's a two-flat, so we only have one neighbor, and it's a single woman, which is huge -- it'll be much quieter and less chaotic in a two-flat than a six-flat, and we'll have a ton of storage space in the basement. And, coolest of all, there's an OFFICE! In what will turn out to be my bedroom if we take the apartment, there's a little attached room that the landlord says is technically a guest room/third bedroom (in fact, that's what the current tenants are using it for; there's a good-sized bed in there, even though I think both rooms are slightly smaller than my current bedroom), but I intend to use it as an attached office. It's heated just like the bedrooms and has plenty of natural light, and it'd be nice to have a separate space to work instead of having to cram all my computer stuff and files into the bedroom.

As far as the neighborhood goes, it's still pretty far north, and walking to work is over for me if we get it, but it's actually quite cool. It's mostly the bedroom community/residential neighborhood we'd been led to expect, but with a lot more necessary stuff right within walking distance than we thought there'd be. Our biggest fear was that there would be noplace in the immediate area to go to, but as it happens, there's tons of stuff: there's a pharmacy, a couple of little markets, a ton of cafes, a French (well, Vietnamese) bakery, a hot dog joint, a gas station, a bunch of schools, and a ton of parks right within walking distance of where our place would be. There's two really good restaurants right up the street (Tom Yum and Tre Kroner); WTTW's studios are not far; there's a Dominick's that's a long walk or a short drive; and there's a post office and a library that are just blocks away, which is also huge. We'd also be very close to Lincoln Avenue (and Lincoln Village, where there's lots of shopping and a movie theatre) and to Swedish Covenant Hospital.

We don't have it for sure; technically, the new landlords would own our lease, so our landlady needs to make sure they'll let us move into the new place. But I'm hoping they won't be hardasses about it and we can snag the place. thaitea seems to like it as well, so we've got our fingers crossed -- it's gonna be a pain in the ass to move in less than a month, but I'm much, much less nervous than I was yesterday, now that I've seen the place and it's very cool.
flavored with age

Un-Interesting

Proto-meme kifed from insidiouswanker's LJ.

The following are explanations of my LJ interests that no one else shares.

a separate piece: I really like the phrase "a separate peace", which is not only the name of a good novel by John Knowles, but also implies the condition where you know you will never live in a world of your own choosing, but you have still managed to come to terms with it, living apart from your peers but not quite at war with them any longer. And it occurred to me that you could make a pun built on the idea of 'a separate piece', as in piece of that assssss.

American Milk Solids Council: This is just a corporate spokesgroup I made up and which I drop in occasionally because it sounds funny. Their job is to promote knowledge, understanding and use of milk solids.

buddha sack: This is a slang term for a little bag in which you carry marijuana (and also the name of a character on King of the Hill played by Chris Rock). I'm surprised there's no one else who lists this as an interest. Strangely enough, a Google image search for this term yielded a photo of G. Gordon Liddy.

dating Uma Thurman: Pretty self-explanatory. I think Uma Thurman is hot, and fairly talented and smart as actresses go. Of course, I now have a terrific girlfriend who is even better than Uma Thurman, but it's still sort of an appealing idea.

doll ideology: Because I am a huge dork, I always thought that the cool aspect of playing with action figures as a kid, role-playing when I was an adolescent, and writing when I was an adult was not so much the action or the adventure or the plot or the escapism or anything like that, but rather the idea of making up elaborate cosmologies for the characters, giving them ethics and philosophies and systems of belief and then seeing how they would interrelate with the other characters. This super-nerdy aspect of bringing political and philosophical shadings to harmless play is what I like to call "doll ideology".

emulating Henry Darger: Henry Darger was a crazy fuck who lived here in Chicago his whole life and worked as a janitor at a Catholic school. When he died, his landlord found in his apartment the longest, most elaborate novel ever written -- some 15,000 pages detailing the conduct of a civil war on an alien planet over the issue of child slavery. It also features accounts of the weather every day for over seventy years on this alien planet, sophisticated illustrations, an almanac, and all kinds of other stuff totalling thousands more pages. I emulate him insofar as I likewise create reams and reams of pointless fictional detail about made-up worlds which I will never do anything with and which my hapless landlord will probably throw in a dumpster when I snuff it, but unlike Henry, I know that girls don't have penises.

geek taxonomy: This comes from a rather famous essay I wrote a while back in which I spelled out the difference between geeks, nerds and dorks.

genrefucking: This has nothing to do with slash fiction, as you might guess, but rather is my idiosyncratic generic term for writing that intentionally blurs the line between different genres of fiction. I'm trying to get it to catch on amongst literary critics, but the presence of the word 'fuck' probably impedes its progress somewhat.

Gotham City Neighborhoodies: Neighborhoodies are those customized hooded sweatshirts with the name of your neighborhood written across the front, and I thought it would be funny to get one with the name of Gotham City (the fictional metropolis where Batman lives) on it, as a friend of mine has a Sunnydale Neighborhoodie. Also, I would like to point out that I finally got an Albany Park Neighborhoodie, a mere three weeks before having to move out of Albany Park. God damn it.

hillbilly culture: Again, very self-explanatory. I like hillbilly culture, especially their language and music.

Jack "King" Kirby: The co-creator of the early Marvel comics, one of the most legendary artists in the history of the comics medium, and arguably the most important figure in comics for forty years. I love Jack Kirby.

masturpation: An archaic sexual term meaning, for lack of a better word, mutual masturbation: the manual stimulation of sex organs not your own. I love archaic sexual terms like this or 'gamahuche' or 'tribadism'.

MetalFace: The "MF" in "MF Doom", a.k.a. Daniel Dumile, a.k.a. Zevluv X, a.k.a. Viktor Vaughn, a.k.a. half of Madvillain, a.k.a. King Gheedorah, a.k.a. the partner of MF Grimm, a.k.a. a million other pseudonyms (motherfucker gots more aliases than the whole Wu-Tang Clan put together), stands for "MetalFace", because he wears a Dr. Doom mask onstage. Dr. Doom is fucking awesome.

Monday Shitlist: I used to do this feature on my LiveJournal every Monday where I would ask people to tell me the worst they had ever encountered of some subject -- movies, books, food, jobs, records, etc. Unfortunately, I ran out of questions, so the feature was discontinued.

naked lay-teez: Come on! Who doesn't like naked lay-teez? Besides homos?

new icon sets: As I'm sure you've noticed by now, I change my icon sets once a month following a free and open democratic election in which cheating is almost totally discouraged.

overusing the word "retarded": This is just something I do. I use the word "retarded" a lot to describe things I think are lame or stupid, and it worries me, because (a) I just beat it to death and (b) it's vaguely cruel to retarded people, not really that different from white people saying 'nigger'. So I always tell myself I'm going to wean myself of using the word, but I never do, and I feel guilty about it.

sad little clowns: A phrase coined by me (I think) to describe pathetic specimens of humanity who are excessively proud and public about their gross sex lives. Examples: people who start threads on public forums to engage in sex talk; people who wear their S&M fetishes on their sleeves; people who tell you about their sex lives five seconds after meeting you; people who find appearing in demeaning pornography 'liberating' or 'transgressive'; people who appear on HBO's Real Sex; polyamorists in general. I use this phrase because even though they talk about something joyful and wonderful (sex), they actually seem kinda pitiful and sad. Hence "sad little clowns".

songs about mules: Some time ago, while combing through my vast reserves of old hillbilly music, I noticed that many pre-1960 country songs were about one of three subjects: loving women, killing women, and mules.

spinning high-tension wires: Godzilla likes to pull these down with a purposeful grimace and a terrible sound.

tawdry celebrity limericks: I am fond of writing amusing little limericks about the sexual peccadilloes of the rich and famous. Like this one:

She's more famous than Shakespeare or Milton;
She's got all of the young fellas tiltin'.
But with slutting and coke
And a cheap racist joke
She's a Motel 6, she's not a Hilton.

telepathic apes: I like the idea of telepathic apes. Apes are cool.

thank you D. Boon: I say this a lot when I think about Dennes Boon, the lead singer and guitarist of the Minutemen. They were a huge influence on me and they very well might have saved my life; I still think they were one of the best bands I've ever heard. D. Boon broke his neck in 1985 after being thrown from his van in my home state of Arizona; he died just as I was returning from Texas to the place I was born. He saved my life, and I paid him back by killing him. So whenever I'm home, I say "Thank you D. Boon and I'm sorry."

The Feast of Shame: This is just a holiday I made up. I don't know what it would entail, exactly, but it would celebrate shame and would involve eating a lot (which could possibly lead to more shame).