November 17th, 2004

flavored with age

Careering

You know what job I'd like to have? Guy who is famous for saying just one thing. Like, say, "ROOM". I would be considered by one and all the baddest 'room'-saying motherfucker on the planet. Whenever someone needed to say 'room' in a commercial, there would be no question who would get the gig. Or if someone started a cable network called The Room Channel, I'd do all their voiceovers. If some dude wanted to call up his girlfriend and tell her he needed space, he'd say "Give me..." and then hand me a couple of Franklins to say "ROOM!" 'Funny' parents would imitate me when they told their kids to go to their rooms. I would pull down a few hundred grand a year from this gig, and I'd be the best-known single-word-sayer in the entertainment industry; I would spawn a whole industry of guys who are famous for saying just one thing, but the critics would refer to me as "the original and still the best". Sometimes I would get offered big money to say other things, but I would turn it down. "I know my strengths," I would say, "and I'm not greedy". Rappers would sample me saying room and call me Len-Dog the One Word King. Yeah, that's a job I'd like to have.


Unrelatedly: whoo doggie, it's foggy! THAT RHYMES MOTHERFUCKERS