February 11th, 2005

flavored with age

Miniwhorin'

No, the Ludic Log still isn't back from its week-long hiatus, and it's still on cutback mode. I've been too insanely busy with work, personal stuff, and other writing projects to update. But:

- I didn't write this story (though it's a good one, and I wish I had); but I did take the photograph that accompanies it, which the discerning eyes of manningkrull and tamisevens might recognize.

- I recorded a little radio piece this week which will probably end up on Chicago public radio someday, and which has a slight chance of being syndicated to NPR. The details are murky, as the ways of radio are a mystery to me, but I will spill them as they become spillable.

- I've been brewing up a rough script for the first sneak-preview installment of a comic that calamityjon and I came up with. I think it'll be available for purchase sometime around June of 2049, but man, when it's done, it is going to fuck your face off with its greatness. It will be so good you will die, go to Heaven, and be elected mayor, is how good it will be.

And now, with that horribly vulgar piece of self-promotion behind me, I mention: this is Valentine's Day weekend, and my gal ninafarina is coming to town tomorrow. I have tried powerfully to resist becoming one of those shitheads who pisses off single people by raving about their partners over this sappy kissy-faced holiday, and I'm really truly sorry for doing this, all you people who are as depressed and irritated and hateful as I was the last ten Valentine's Days or so, but: she's great. It makes me stupid giddy to know I'll see her tomorrow. And every time I write something, I wish I was a better writer, so that I could write things for her that make her as happy as she makes me.

Sorry about that. Back to the semi-offensive trivium that makes this LiveJournal so useless.
flavored with age

More pointless sniping at James Lileks!

Ho ho! NO I AM ONLY KIDDING. Instead, here is a pointless poll. Answer carefully, the last people who didn't take this poll seriously were carried off by a tornado-storm quake!

Poll #435660 Multi Bulti Billionaire

What do you call the loose pants you wear when you go to sleep?

Pajama bottoms
16(45.7%)
Bed pants
1(2.9%)
Sweats
2(5.7%)
Sleepers
0(0.0%)
Jammie jams
3(8.6%)
I don't wear pants to bed
7(20.0%)
I don't wear pants at all
1(2.9%)
This question doesn't apply to me because I yam a pretty lay-tee
1(2.9%)
HA HA BED PANTS U R A FAGIT
1(2.9%)
I call them some other thing I will specify in comments/none of the above
3(8.6%)

Who would win a battle between the 7-11/Pepsi Collector Series DC superhero glasses I have?

Captain Marvel (or "Shazam", as he is called on the glass)
17(47.2%)
Robin
2(5.6%)
Aquaman
4(11.1%)
it would be a tie
4(11.1%)
Speedy Gonzalez
9(25.0%)

What do you call alcoholic drinks with a vaguely South Pacific/island/East Asian theme?

tiki drinks
8(22.2%)
tropical drinks
4(11.1%)
Polynesian drinks
1(2.8%)
fruity drinks
4(11.1%)
girly drinks
13(36.1%)
I have no idea what you're talking about
1(2.8%)
I don't call them anything, as a group, I just drink them
1(2.8%)
I don't call them anything or drink them because the whole idea threatens my masculinity
1(2.8%)
HA HA TIKI DRINKS U R A FAGIT
1(2.8%)
I call them some other thing I will specify in comments/none of the above
2(5.6%)
flavored with age

Robert Culpability

(I preface this comment by saying I don't really care about steroids in baseball. If people want gobs of home runs, they get steroids in baseball. If people want overblown clowns like Sammy Sosa, they get steroids in baseball. I like pitching. If it were up to me they would raise the mound another 3 inches, bring back the spitter, and make sure that there was about one home run every five games. I'd just as soon not have steroids in baseball, but I don't stay up late at night worrying about it, and I don't think you're some kind of evil monster for taking them. Hell, I even like the DH, is how big a dumbass I am.)

I think it says something absolutely delightful -- not about baseball, but about our whole PR-driven, ultra-litigious society -- that we are increasingly treated to spectacles like yesterday's super-controlled Jason Giambi press conference. Where, in case you didn't see it or read about it, the corked-up millionaire stood before a hand-picked group of reporters and emotionally apologized to his fans, his friends, his family, and his team, but for "legal reasons", declined to say what, exactly, he was apologizing for.

Now, again, I don't really care if Giambi juiced himself to the dickens and back. More power to him (literally), the big lug, and if I were a big-league pitcher, I wouldn't stick more than two, three at the most in his ear for it. I just think it's hilarious that these two warring motivations -- the publicity-driven need to be thought of as an honest, upstanding, decent guy who, darn it, is human and makes mistakes, but by gum, is man enough to stand up and admit when he's wrong and the litigation-driven need to not own up to having done anything illegal, immoral, or contractually forbidden unless forced to do so -- are put on such naked display. All you could really walk away with was the knowledge that Jason Giambi is very, very sorry, and very, very not allowed to say what he is sorry about. Of course, everyone knows what he's sorry about, but they can't say it either, lest they be sued for libel or slander.

The best thing about it is that it will further sully the reputation of that scumbag who owns the hated Yanquis, since it's abundantly clear that he knew way ahead of time that Giambi was pumped full of 'roids and signed him anyway, even going so far as to strike out the guaranteed language in his contract that referred to steroid use. Not that plenty of other teams wouldn't have done the same thing, but I'm happy it's Steinbrenner who got caught in the act instead of someone else, because I hate him so much. Hypocrite? Me? Quite often.