April 1st, 2005

flavored with age

Il Papa Muerte

Run to the light, Pope!

If I was the Pope, and I was dying, I'd issue a whole shitload of crazy-ass pronouncements just to take final advantage of the whole papal infallibility thing. Like, announce that all Catholics have to paint their skin blue on days beginning with a "T", and that all new babies must be named Fruitiger, and from now on you don't have to eat fish on Friday, but you have to eat worms every day except Friday. And people would be all, well, it sounds like the ravings of a dying man, but what can we do? He's still infallible.

Also, please join me in hoping that the next Pope is a really, really fat Mexican guy named Julio. Because I think Pope Julio I would be pretty fun to hang out with.