May 13th, 2005

flavored with age

Tweet tweet, motherfucker

You know, I try to get along in peace, harmony and respect with all of the creatures of the earth. Except for the ones I eat. And bugs. Aside from that, though, I practice a very live-and-let-live attitude towards my animal friends.

But I'm afraid the goddamn bird outside our window that chirps louder than a fire alarm every other morning at 3AM sharp is going to have to die.
flavored with age

Show of hands

Who thinks that given his history of miserable performance at White Sox Park, his thin-skinned-ness about being relentlessly booed, and his generally being a total shitbox of a human being, Sammy Sosa's so-called "foot infection", which will cause him to miss the entire four-game set with the White Sox in his first appearance in Chicago since being traded from the Cubs, is about as real as the heart attack that kept killing Hyman Roth?

Okay, different show of hands: who wants me to stop talking about the White Sox forever?
flavored with age

(no subject)

If there was someone in your family who was no good...

UZBEKS.

Someone who embarrassed you...

UZBEKS.

Someone who constantly took but never gave...

UZBEKS.

If there was someone like that in your family...

UZBEKS.

You would do something, wouldn't you? Mother Russia has someone like that in her family.

UZBEKS.

But she can't do something about it without your help. Experience has taught us not to make martyrs of our enemies, so: leave them alone.

UZBEKS.

Don't give them money or matches.

UZBEKS.

And don't encourage them to gamble and drink.

UZBEKS.

They are the weak link in the great chain of socialism.