May 25th, 2005

flavored with age

50 States

Let me preface this by saying, I really like the state quarters. I'm a geek for currency (not for money-as-money, which I dislike, but for money-as-object), and I'm inexcusably excited when I get a new state quarter. The next one is Minnesota, which has nothing but good connotations for me. I've even become like those nerds who won't turn over their calendars because they want to be surprised by the next picture: I don't like knowing ahead of time what the new quarters are going to look like, preferring to just get one in change and be surprised.

So, obviously, I like the idea, but I'm a bit disappointed at times by the execution. Some of the state quarters are great (Washington crossing the Delaware for New Jersey, the classic simplicity of Texas, the friendly cow on Wisconsin), but some are stupid (the space shuttle on Florida, the floating diamond for Arkansas), some are boring (South Carolina and Delaware, in particular), and some are just odd (the no-longer-extant Stone Face of New Hampshire, the raggedy-looking tree for Connecticut, the "birthplace of aviation pioneers" theme of Ohio, an open admission that they couldn't think of anything). Therefore, I submit to you: State Quarters, Improved.

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flavored with age

I'm Will Shakespeare, bitch

I've heard she is a most salacious lass
One not to meet another's mother born
Dark clouds from off your spirits she will pass
Once from the streets unto your hearth she's borne

She sings delight at those who string the muse
And I, her favorite, foremost favor gain
When après-show into her chambers cruise
To pleasure her is pleasure, never pain

Within her wildness speaks; the girl's a super-freak
You'll for her treasures plead, in broadsheets of her read
A most salacious lass; get thee up in that ass
Her taste is to my taste; no inch of funk to waste
Most all right; quite all right
Forsooth, all right with me
flavored with age

The Thing is a Jew! But he doesn't wear a yarmulke! But he's still a good American!

In today's Bleat, James "You Will Believe a Man Can Crank" Lileks assaults Lizz Winstead. He claims she would prefer Saddam Hussein was still in power, that she wants to fuck Tariq Aziz, and that she supports the subjugation of woman. Why? Because she liked the things George Galloway had to say, and Jimmy-Jim knows that Galloway is a bad man. How does he know? Because the ever-objective Christopher Hitchens says so, of course! Hitch says all the allegations about his slush-funding are true, and therefore they must be true, even though no charges have been filed and Congress, who had a perfect opportunity to do so since Galloway waived his right to immunity and gave his statements under oath, declined to charge him with perjury. Hitch claims that he won his seat by toadying to Islamic fundamentalists (who are, of course, the primary voting bloc in the United Kingdom), that he had the temerity to run against an African Jew, and that he is a "depraved sub-Leninist" and a "votary of the one-party state". WELL THEN SCREW YOU LIZZ WINSTEAD!

But the funniest thing in today's Bleat is how James chooses to describe the Thing to his daughter:

“That’s Ben Grimm. He’s the Thing. Very strong. Smokes cigars, has a girlfriend named Alicia. Jewish, but I’m not sure he’s observant. Heck of an American, in any case.”

…fucking WHAT?!?