May 26th, 2005

flavored with age

Self-Indulgent Whining: the Crunkening

Well, yesterday was a bunch of crap news. While the day wasn't a total writeoff (I made big progress on a project calamityjon and I are working on), I got handed a pile of punches between dawn and dusk: a potential book deal fell apart, a pitch I made to a national magazine was rejected, and a shot I had at a regular column in one of the local hack rags went to someone else. Worst of all, I was forced to realize by the end of the night that plenty of people have real problems and here I am feeling sorry for myself because blah blah blah shut up fatty.

Today looks to be much better, though, because I get to work a ten-hour shift and then go home and do laundry, and nothing elevates my faith in my fellow man like a trip to the laundromat.

Raise your arms up to the air, shake off. You give me reason to live.
flavored with age

Boy, it's been a while since we did a completely meaningless poll...

Hoy: ¡por favor voto! Selección que de estas películas putrefactas con nombres similares es más macho.


Poll #501161 ¿Cuál

¿Cuál "Bad Boys" es más macho? o

"Bad Boys", the overblown 1983 prison drama featuring Sean Penn and a non-star cast mouthing hysterically quotable 'gritty' dialogue while the Little River Band blares on the soundtrack?
17(68.0%)
"Bad Boys", the overblown 1995 cop actioner featuring Will Smith, Martin Lawrence and a non-star cast mouthing hysterically quotable 'hip' dialogue while massive explosions blare on the soundtrack?
8(32.0%)

¿Cuál "Crash" es más macho? o

"Crash", the ambitious but flawed 1996 adaptation of a brilliant J.G. Ballard novel in which the main character is sexually excited by car crashes?
20(80.0%)
"Crash", the ambitious but flawed 2004 adaptation of a mediocre Paul Haggis story in which the main character is sexually threatened during a carjacking?
5(20.0%)

¿Cuál "Crossroads" es más macho? o

"Crossroads", the 2002 teensploitation pic starring bland pin-up cutie Britney Spears as a budding pop star who finds herself while hanging around with a bunch of nobodies?
9(36.0%)
"Crossroads", the 1986 teensploitation pic starring bland pin-up Ralph Macchio as a budding blues star who finds himself shitting all over an authentic African-American art form?
16(64.0%)

¿Cuál "The Punisher" es más macho? o

"The Punisher", the 1989 box office disaster starring wooden-faced lummox Dolph Lundgren as a psychotic vigilante?
16(64.0%)
"The Punisher", the 2004 box office disaster starring wooden-faced lummox Thomas Jane as a psychotic vigilante?
9(36.0%)

¿Cuál "Revenge" es más macho? o

"Revenge", the ridiculous 1990 sex thriller starring Kevin Costner, Madeline Stowe, and has-been Anthony Quinn as "Tibby Mendez"?
9(37.5%)
"Revenge", the ridiculous 2000 sex thriller starring Anthony Michael Hall, Alexadra Paul and never-was Michelle Johnson as a serial killer?
15(62.5%)