June 3rd, 2005

flavored with age

And now, a delightful sampling of the IMDB message boards

From "Madagascar":

crackalackin - RACIST

I might be wrong here but they used the term "crackalackin" this from what I understand means the abscence of "crackas" or white people. Cracker lacking meaning there were no whites in the jungle. Am i wrong here? I certainly hope someone can tell me otherwise.


From "The Longest Yard":

Nudity in the movie

Can anyone tell me where the nudity in this movie is, and what it consists of? Reviews never will tell you, but I want to see if it's child appropriate. I don't care if there are spoilers in your comments, but I want to know if it's a butt, a topless girl, whatever.


From "Monster-in-Law":

I hope this TRAITOR (Fonda) is pelted with rotten eggs at the premier

Better yet pied in the face with a red, white and blue pie. What a piece of trash she is.


From "Kicking and Screaming":

Idiots plain and simple

I haven't seen this movie and judging by the amount of people that voted not many other people have either. It may be good and it may not be, so i'm not trying to start an arguement about that. I'm just saying that it dared to take on the star wars machine and lost. they are pure idiots. now you may proceed to correct me and rip me apart with mean posts.


From "Cinderella Man":

Tagline: When America was on its knees, he brought us to our feet.

When has Americia ever been on it's knees. ( never )It just shows how much out of touch Hollywood is....

I have a good deal of knowable about American history but more importantly I have knowledge, understanding and respect for the American spirit…Americans are on their knees only to pray… never to beg… I call it the *beep* you gene…. … we may stumble but we will not fall…. The only people who believe that Americans have been or ever will be on their knees are those who have no understanding of the true American idea and ideal. The American sprit is why we will never be defeated….


I didn't even include the one where some 16-year-old girl mentioned some cute kids in a movie and said she'd like to have a kid like that, and it touched off a huge flame war about how people who are sixteen should never, ever even talk about wanting kids.

I LOVE YOU THE IMDB MESSAGE BOARDS LET'S BE WED IT WON'T BE A FANCY MARRIAGE BUT YOUR SEAT WILL LOOK SWEET
flavored with age

So very very bored

Five-sport cities: Boston, MA; Chicago, IL; Dallas, TX; Denver, CO; New York, NY; Washington, DC.

Four-sport cities: Atlanta, GA; Detroit, MI; Los Angeles, CA; Miami, FL; Philadelphia, PA; Phoenix, AZ.

Three-sport cities: Cleveland, OH; Houston, TX; Kansas City, MO; Minneapolis, MN; Oakland, CA; Pittsburgh, PA; St. Louis, MO; Seattle, WA; Tampa, FL.

Two-sport cities: Anaheim, CA; Baltimore, MD; Buffalo, NY; Charlotte, NC; Cincinnati, OH; Columbus, OH; Indianapolis, IN; Milwaukee, WI; Nashville, TN; New Orleans, LA; Passaic, NJ; Salt Lake City, UT; San Diego, CA; San Francisco, CA; San Jose, CA.

One-sport cities: Green Bay, WI; Jacksonville, FL; Memphis, TN; Orlando, FL; Portland, OR; Raleigh-Durham, NC; Sacramento, CA; St. Paul, MN; San Antonio, TX.

TODAY'S ASSIGNMENT: posit names for teams in cities lacking that sport. Be funny. Stereotyping encouraged.

ALTERNATE ASSIGNMENT: take me to task for my methodology. Possible areas of objection: the exclusion of Canadian cities; dividing Oakland/San Francisco or Minneapolis/St. Paul; claiming that East Rutherford is Passaic; not counting New Jersey teams as New York teams; not counting New York teams as New Jersey teams; not counting the New York/New Jersey MetroStars and the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim twice; categorizing "New England" teams as Boston teams; counting soccer as a sport.
flavored with age

By the way

Now that the "Utah Jazz" has been joined by the floridly Latino-sounding "Real Salt Lake", Salt Lake City now wins the award for Most Vividly Ethnic-Sounding Team Names In A City That Is 90% White Mormons.