June 16th, 2005

flavored with age

More patio sale items

BARBEQUE IMPLEMENTS. Summer is here, and that means it’s time to kill an animal and sear its raw flesh over a roaring fire! This complete set of tongs, skewers, forks, brushes, and clamps not only are made from real wood, and not only bear the faint odor and appearance of long-ago-digested meals, but can also be used for torturing humans, or for cooking vegetables if you’re a total puss. $3 for all.

FESTIVE HOMUNCULUS. Foot-tall representation in unnamed puffy acrylic of Father Christmas, complete with fake-looking beard, lunatic expression, and spatulate hands. Perfect for terrifying children, amusing cats or baffling foreigners. 50¢.

FOOD PULVERIZER. Hailing from the fashionable Hamilton Beach area of southern Wackamolia, this motorized dingbat in delicate off-cream is designed to receive edible foodstuffs and reduce them to pulverized, blended, sliced, chopped and/or julienned states of nature. Perfectly functional, but aesthetically marred by the presence of a melted plastic corner, the tragic legacy of a failed relationship with an abusive toaster. $5.

UNFASHIONABLE CLOTHING. When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore; and when I get rid of clothes because they’re not cool enough, that’s unfashionable. A vast selection available, featuring tattered and out-of-date dress shirts, decades-old ‘ironic’ t-shirts, and denim jeans that remove all doubt regarding how fat I really am. 50¢ each.

VIALS OF MYSTERY. Two small glass vials with plastic screw-caps, with a holding capacity of perhaps four ounces. Were they once used in a nefarious scientific experiment? Did they once serve to cook methamphetamine or transport cocaine? Could they have held a Potion of Giant Strength? The only way to solve the mystery…is to buy them! 25¢ for both.
flavored with age

Yes he said yes

Scene: The Tower. Hour: 8AM. Colors: gold, white.
Persons: Telemachus, Antinous, Mentor, Pallas, Penelope, the suitors.
Technic: dialogue of 3 & 4; narration; soliloquy; narrative (young).
Science/Art: theology.
Meaning: the dispossessed son in struggle.

Scene: The School. Hour: 10AM. Color: chestnut brown.
Persons: Nestor, Telemachus, Pisistratus, Helen.
Technic: dialogue of 2; narration; soliloquy; catechism (personal)
Science/Art: history.
Meaning: the wisdom of the old world.

Scene: The Strand. Hour: 11AM. Colors: blue, green.
Persons: Proteus, Menelaeus, Helen, Megapenthes, Telemachus.
Technic: soliloquy, monologue (male).
Science/Art: philology.
Meaning: prima materia.

Scene: The House. Hour: 8AM. Color: orange.
Persons: Calypso/Penelope, Ulysses, Callidike
Technic: dialogue of 1, soliloquy, narrative (mature)
Science/Art: mythology, economics.
Meaning: the departing traveler.

Scene: The Bath. Hour: 10AM. Color: brown.
Persons: Eurylochus, Polites, Ulysses, Nausicaa
Technic: dialogue, soliloquy, prayer, narcissism.
Science/Art: chemistry, botany.
Meaning: the seduction of faith.

Scene: The Graveyard. Hour: 11AM. Colors: black & white.
Persons: Ulysses, Elpenor, Ajax, Agamemnon, Hercules, Eriphyle, Sisyphus, etc.
Technic: narration, dialogues, incubism.
Science/Art: religion.
Meaning: descent into nothing.

It's still the greatest novel I've ever read. It's still the book that changed all the rules about what storytelling should be. It's still amazing after so long and so many words. Thank you James Joyce and happy Bloomsday to everyone with the courage and curiosity to read.