June 30th, 2005

flavored with age

What I Learned From Yesterday's Money Poll

1. Some people really didn't like this poll.

2. When you offer people an evasive or cranky option, by God, they're going to take it.

3. Even fewer people will admit to being rich than will admit to having voted for George W. Bush. (And yet, here we are!)

4. 80% of the population of the United States is middle-class.

5. A lot of the answers given to this poll seem contradictory to me.

6. My friends list, inadequate as a neutral sample size as it may be, appears to bear out the finding that our generation will not achieve mobility. Possibly because we spend all our time dicking around on the internet instead of working.

7. There was a tie on the "what makes people rich?" question between "not having to work" and "making more than $500k a year"'; oddly, no one at all selected "being in the top tax bracket", an indicator specifically designed to apply only to the rich.

8. I will be borrowing money from at least 24 of you after your parents die.

9. mckennl was right.

10. People sure do like telling me how I should have made the polls differently.
flavored with age

Caught in a race against TIME!

Forbidden Subjects Poll Week continues; today's topic is race*. Watch my friends list dwindle away to nothing. Tomorrow: CRIME!

Poll #523505 And this is for...

What is your race? (Check all that apply.)

"White"
38(52.8%)
"Black"
0(0.0%)
"Hispanic"
1(1.4%)
"Asian"
0(0.0%)
"Native American"
1(1.4%)
"Arab"
0(0.0%)
"South Asian"
0(0.0%)
"Jewish"
0(0.0%)
"Pacific Islander"
0(0.0%)
"Other"
0(0.0%)
I do not believe in racial self-identification
1(1.4%)
I don't know how to answer this question
0(0.0%)
I refuse to answer this question
0(0.0%)
I could answer this question, but your use of quote marks to call attention to your private displeasure at the inadequacy of generally accepted racial categories annoys me, so I'm not going to
4(5.6%)
Come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody get together, learn to love one another right now
2(2.8%)

If you checked more than one box above, do you self-identify as "mixed-race"?

Yes
3(11.1%)
No
19(70.4%)
Sometimes
5(18.5%)

Have you ever had a sexual relationship with a person of a different race than your own?

Yes, once
7(9.7%)
Yes, more than once
30(41.7%)
Yes, I have only had sexual relationships with people of different races than my own
1(1.4%)
No, never
20(27.8%)
No, because I am opposed to interracial relationships
1(1.4%)
No, I have never had a sexual relationship with anyone
3(4.2%)
I am of mixed race, so for me, masturbation is like interracial sex
2(2.8%)
I choose to be offended by this question
0(0.0%)
You seriously expect me to remember details of the thousands of sex partners I have had?
4(5.6%)
Come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody get together, learn to love one another right now
4(5.6%)

What do you believe "race" means?

I believe that "race" is a definite and real conception, indicating different categories of distinct human stock
4(5.6%)
I believe that "race" is a frangible notion, but is nonetheless socially useful in most situations
17(23.6%)
I believe that "race" is a convenient mental shorthand and nothing more
16(22.2%)
I believe that "race" is an entirely arbitrary social construct with little practical value
19(26.4%)
I believe that "race" describes a contest of speed, as between footmen, horses or automobiles
16(22.2%)

Do you think you are a racist?

Yes, absolutely; I hate (insert racial category here) with a deep-seated passion
0(0.0%)
Yes, sort of; I am not hateful, but I have problems with certain racial categories
2(2.8%)
Yes, marginally; I am racist in the sense that everyone raised in my time, place and situation is racist
21(29.2%)
No, not much; I do occassionally find myself harboring prejudiced thoughts, but on the whole, I'm not racist
20(27.8%)
No, not really; I am very open-minded and constantly on my guard against racism
17(23.6%)
No, not at all; I am entirely free of racial prejudice
3(4.2%)
It is not for me to say whether or not I am a racist
3(4.2%)
Don't know/can't say
1(1.4%)
Fuck you, raghead
0(0.0%)
Come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody get together, learn to love one another right now
5(6.9%)

Have you ever confronted members of your family or your friends about what you perceived to be racist statements or behaviors?

Yes, constantly
4(5.6%)
Yes, frequently
5(6.9%)
Yes, occasionally
43(59.7%)
Yes, once
3(4.2%)
No, my family and friends are not racist
1(1.4%)
No, my family and friends are as racist as I am
4(5.6%)
No, but I have confronted them for not being racist enough
1(1.4%)
No, but it's not because they're not racist, but rather because I avoid confrontation
8(11.1%)
My family and friends are careful to conceal their racism when I'm around
2(2.8%)
I DON'T HAVE ANY FAMILY OR FRIENDS
1(1.4%)

The author of this poll is half-Arab and half-white; although many people deny that "Arab" is a racial category (or at least a racial category separate from "white"), he self-identifies as "mixed-race" and does not like to self-identify as "white". Is this lame?

It's unspeakably lame.
1(1.4%)
It's massively lame.
1(1.4%)
It's pretty damn lame.
0(0.0%)
It's kinda lame.
2(2.8%)
It's lame.
0(0.0%)
What are you, Noel Ignatiev? Lame.
0(0.0%)
I don't know who Noel Ignatiev is, but you're still lame.
1(1.4%)
It's very lame, and also you are a dirty sand-nigger and I hate you.
1(1.4%)
It's lame in the worst possible way: a weak-tea liberal guilt/white shame complex that only reinforces racism.
3(4.2%)
I totally respect and understand your choice. But it's still lame.
7(9.7%)
I'm the author of this poll, and even I think it's fairly lame.
2(2.8%)
It's only a bit lame.
5(6.9%)
It's not lame at all.
15(20.8%)
You do know that using the word "lame" as a denigratory term is hurtful to the differently abled, right?
8(11.1%)
Come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody get together, learn to love one another right now.
10(13.9%)


*: For the purposes of this poll**, you are free to self-identify racially however you like, but I will be annoyed if you do so as, say, "Native American" because your great-great-great-great-grandmother once made out with a Cherokee. I defer here to those forward-thinking racial philosophers, the Nazis, who didn't take racial makeup back any farther than the grandparents.

**: Note also my deep meta-irony by using this horrifically racist icon of self-made Asian caricature Johnny Yune for the purposes of the poll! God, I'm clever.
flavored with age

Iconsin

Man, I totally hate to do this to you in the middle of Forbidden Subject Week, because you're probably all polled out, but I forgot today is the 30th! Which means it's time to retire the ridiculous "things that rhyme with June" icon set and replace it with something new and improved. Yes, I know, we all love the picture of schtune, but all good things must come to an end. Here's your choices for July:

- Pictures of male porn stars taken out of context
- Guns I have owned or would like someday to own
- Further forgotten cereal mascots of the past
- Cornball four-color crimefighters with nationalistic motifs
- Heroic athletes of the Soviet Union and affiliated satellite slave-states

Wählen Sie!

Poll #523878 Hey, baby, it's the poll for July

What icon set should I use in July?

Porn, porn and more porn
9(13.8%)
My favorite firearms
15(23.1%)
More goddamn cereal
9(13.8%)
Patriotic superheroes
15(23.1%)
Soviet super-sports
10(15.4%)
Some other thing, which I will specify in Comments
1(1.5%)
Don't know/don't care/won't say
0(0.0%)
I am you as you are me and we are all together
1(1.5%)
Keep the current set, because I never get tired of looking at Ben
1(1.5%)
It's pronounced "pooh-SAY"
4(6.2%)