July 1st, 2005

flavored with age

What I Learned From Yesterday's Race Poll

1. 91 comments, holy shit! Race really is America's national obsession. Take that, sports!

2. Y'all are a bunch of damn crackers.

3. Reading for context is not as widespread a skill as I had once assumed.

4. Apparently some people did not so easily pick up on the fact that these polls are more or less jokes as did other people.

5. There's a whole lot of jungle fever goin' on around here.

6. Give people the option to check every box and they will often do so.

7. Choosing the gag response gets less funny after the first dozen people do it.

8. The same number of people self-identified as fairly racist as did completely non-racist.

9. I am a sad little clown and everybody hates me.

10. I will be kinda glad when Forbidden Subject Poll Week is over.
flavored with age

(no subject)

Forbidden Subjects Poll Week slinks to a furtive halt with today's topic: crime. Because of the nature of these questions, as well as the possibility that someone reading this entirely public, non-encrypted poll might be a covert law enforcement agent, I'm predicting this will get the lowest response of any of the polls this week. But thanks loads for all who participated in this highly humiliating, embarrassing, alienating week of whimsical internet surveys!

Poll #524230 Crime is on my side, and crime won't let me wait

Have you ever been the victim of a felony?

Yes
26(47.3%)
No
24(43.6%)
Not sure
5(9.1%)

List the felony/felonies of which you have been the victim.

Have you ever committed a felony?

Yes
13(23.6%)
No
33(60.0%)
Not sure
9(16.4%)

List the felony/felonies you have committed.

Have you ever spent time in jail or prison as the result of being convicted of a crime?

No, I have never been convicted of a crime
36(65.5%)
No, I have been convicted of a crime, but I did not serve time
2(3.6%)
Yes, I have been imprisoned overnight
2(3.6%)
Yes, I have been imprisoned for less than a month
3(5.5%)
Yes, I have been imprisoned for less than a year
0(0.0%)
Yes, I have been imprisoned for less than a decade
1(1.8%)
Yes, I have been imprisoned for more than a decade
0(0.0%)
I have never committed a crime
3(5.5%)
All the crimes I have committed are ones you don't serve time for
8(14.5%)
I'm writing this from prison right now, and I was wondering if I could call you collect tomorrow morning around 3AM
0(0.0%)

How recently did you commit a crime for which you could serve a jail or prison sentence?

I'm commiting a jailable offense right now
4(7.4%)
Today
0(0.0%)
Yesterday
3(5.6%)
This week
3(5.6%)
Less than a month ago
1(1.9%)
Less than a year ago
3(5.6%)
Within the last ten years
8(14.8%)
More than ten years ago
6(11.1%)
I have never committed a jailable offense
24(44.4%)
Does stalking you count as a crime?
2(3.7%)

Have you ever intentionally withheld information from the law that would result in someone possibly serving jail or prison time?

Yes
12(22.2%)
No
39(72.2%)
Not sure
3(5.6%)
flavored with age

Poll addendum

Don't forget, since today is the first of the month, it's time for a new icon set! I completely forgot about this until yesterday afternoon (thanks to Ben and Heather for reminding me!), so I didn't post the poll until last night.

It's here; please go vote A.S.A.P. I'll keep the polls open until this afternoon to make sure the day shift all get a chance to vote. This one's down to the wire so far, gang.
flavored with age

New Icon set SUPER CONTROVERSY: THE SEQUEL!

Man, are some of you gonna hate me for this.

Okay, here's how it shook down.

Since I put this up late yesterday, I left to polls open until tonight to give everyone a chance to vote. And at first glance, it would appear that "my favorite firearms", the gutcore favorite of many of you mutants, tied for the lead. Now, ordinarily, when there's a tie, I pick the winner. Which I'm doing -- but not because there was a tie; because there was a legit winner, and it was "patriotic super-heroes".

"Whaaaaat?" you cry, you bloodthirsty shitheels. "Clearly, they tied with 15 each! Pick guns! I wanna look at guns for a month!" Nope. Sorry. The ballot box was stuffed, my friends. One extra vote went to the guns, due to furtive use of a pseudonym. A point could be made that I allowed this in the past, but I am disallowing to act as precedent, because the Supreme Court's decision was clearly only binding in Bush vs. Gore.

Further you say: "You are a big puss-wagon. You are only picking patriotic super-heroes because you don't want your girlfriend to think you are some kind of violent psychopath." Wrong! My girlfriend ALREADY thinks I am some kind of violent psychopath! In reality, I am picking "patriotic superheroes" because they legitimately won, and because there is no other time I can use them when it won't look kinda stupid.

Click on comments for the full set, and don't let me hear any shit about it.
  • Current Music
    "Bedtime for Democracy", Dead Kennedys
  • Tags