August 19th, 2005

blowhard

Town Hall: A Study in Contrasts

BRENT BOZELL ON THE TEEN CHOICE AWARDS:
Incessant, shivers down the spine, “artist”, so-called musical career, pathetic, ultra-violent (x2), raunch (x2), ruining, bizarre, compost, allegedly hip, sex, drugs, use of marijuana treated as harmless fun, out-of-control, girls in tiny bikinis, gyrating buttocks, heavy drinking, snorting cocaine, private party antics, take-the-cake, slutty, moral confusion, bubblegum brand of moral relativism, child pornography in reverse, raunchy (x2), seedy, moral depravity, common decency, destroy.

TONY SNOW ON CINDY SHEEHAN:
Vaporous encomium, useful idiot, joke, gormless gibberish, dotty and odd, boorish zealouts, squatters, cryptic, faded minor celebrity, nostalgic malcontents, confirmed beatnik, transient crew, peacenik, ashen specter.
i brung you purty flowers

THIS WATER IS TOO LOUD

I'm going up to the Twin Cities this weekend to visit my awesome girlfriend ninafarina and her duce adoribile. This will, unfortunately, put me out of Chicago during the weekend of the Air & Water Show. I hate to miss all the dipshit yokels driving in from Iowa to gawk skyward as they crawl along LSD, not to mention how sad I will be at not getting to see jets hurtling at skyscrapers all weekend and sonic booms interrupting my concentration for three straight days, but these are the kinds of sacrifices you have to make when you're in a relationship. Maybe at least I can get Shauna to re-create some of the fun by waking me up at 6AM with a terribly loud noise and then selling me a ten-ounce bottle of water for five dollars.