November 15th, 2005

flavored with age


MAN. I normally try to avoid these whiny ranting posts, because I don't have any real problems, but...MAN. Okay. So, feel free to skip this one, because it's nothin' but angry, and not in a cathartic or political way, but just me wantin' to punch the walls angry.

1. About a year ago, I had to go to this event downtown, and while I was there, someone broke the passenger side-view mirror off of my car. Why? Who knows? They didn't try and break into the car, and there was no other damage to the vehicle, and it couldn't have been a passing car, because the passenger side was facing the sidewalk. Someone just walked by, and for goodness knows what reason, broke the mirror housing off of my car. I still have the thing in my trunk, but hadn't gotten around to replacing it, because I still had the driver's-side mirror.

Well, not anymore.

This morning, when I left my apartment, I saw that during the night, someone had busted the driver's-side mirror off of the ChickWagon. Unlike the other mirror, it's still attached, but it's dangling from the guywires that connect it to the adjustment lever. Again, there was no sign of a break-in, and there's no other damage to the rest of the car, so I have to assume someone, once again, just busted the thing off. So now, with a trip to Minnesota three days away, I have no side-view mirrors on my car at all. There's no time to fix it before the trip, so I'm going to try gluing or taping it in place -- but as soon as I get back, I have to get this done. It's not safe as is. And the couple of bodyshops I've talked to tell me that it's gonna be at least $200 to fix -- fifty each for the mirrors, plus labor, which will be less if it's an easy fix or more if they have to take the doors off. Merry Christmas!

I normally try not to sweat this kind of thing, this sort of petty vandalism -- but this is so pointless. Why on earth would someone do such a thing? It's not even gutsy like smashing the windows. It's a total dick move, and now I'm out a chunk of money and driving around in an unsafe car until I can fix it. MAN am I pissed about this. If only my life wasn't generally great, I'd have an apoplexy or something.

2. Here is why there are no photos of me in my new dragon t-shirt courtesy of Calamity Jon.

- My digital camera has inexplicably stopped working.
- Even if it did work, I cannot find the cable that connects it to the computer and allows me to upload photos.
- Also it turns out that it is not a dragon, but rather a griffin or a lion or something, which I would have noticed if I wasn't a dimwit.

Of course, I look great in it, but no one will ever know, because of my fucking camera not working. Consumer Reports tells me that with digital cameras, it's almost always better to replace them than repair them. So yay! There's another couple hundred bucks down the toilet! Merry Christmas!

3. I guess that's really all I have to complain about. Merry Christmas! My ass hurts!
enough already

More good news!

It's going to be 35 degrees tomorrow! And it's going to snow! On the upside, new Lost, featuring the courageous story of Girlfight. Watch her exciting transformation from mysterious slut who chatted up Jack in the airport to mysterious harridan who busts everybody's balls for no reason! That's some good television writing, right there.

And as long as I'm wasting the ENTIRE day...

With the end of the year coming up, I'm submitting my top ten albums of the year to three different publications as a freelance music shithead. Unfortunately, one of them also requires me to submit my top then SINGLES of the year, which leaves me a bit at sea. I don't listen to the radio, have almost no conception of what's popular and what isn't, and have only the vaguest idea of what's even been issued as a single. So what I've done in these situations is just list my favorite songs for the year without any regard to their popularity, status as singles, etc. This is what I came up with:

1. Andrew Bird, "Fake Palindromes"
2. The Decemberists, "16 Military Wives"
3. Kanye West, "Gold Digger"/K-Otix, "George Bush Doesn't Care About Black People" (tie)
4. Sufjan Stevens, "Chicago"
5. M.I.A., "Galang"
6. The New Pornographers, "Sing Me Spanish Techno"
7. Los Super Seven, "Heard It On The X"
8. Spoon, "I Turn My Camera On"
9. High on Fire, "The Face of Oblivion"
10. Danger Doom, "The Mask"

So, what are YOUR favorite songs of the year? Don't have to be singles, don't have to be popular, don't have to be obscure...just have to have come out in 2005. Tell me, kids: what are your heavy-rotation picks of the year?

You can't shut me up!

50 Cent to launch book line.

50 Cent will again turn his reality into fiction with a new line of hip-hop novellas and graphic novels featuring his former G-Unit rap crew buddies, a publisher announced. Pocket/MTV Books promised the venture would showcase "gritty" stories and cover much of the same terrain as 50 Cent's raps.


The Adventures of OG March
Are You There, God? It's Me, Tony Yayo
At Smack-Two-Bitches
Crip Meridian
The Crying of Lot 40-Ounce
The Heart is a Lonely Wanksta
A Passage to Jamaica, Queens
DJ Whookid's Complaint
The Catcher in da Club