November 23rd, 2005

space geek

George W. Bush, Warlord of Mars

Hey, how's that mission to Mars coming along? I think it'll be great! We can pay for it with all the money we've made off the Iraq occupation. Just think, this time next year we'll be on Mars, and everything will be deader redder better!

Maybe we'll find Osama bin-Laden up there on Mars. Or whoever mailed all that anthrax. Or the billions of dollars in taxpayer-funded Iraq reconstruction money that's missing.
banana

And since, again, I won't be here Friday...

Poll #618661 Spin's got funk, Spin's got soul, now we thank him for this poll

Are you eating turkey this Thanksgiving?

Fuck yes, big ol' hawnks of it
36(59.0%)
No, because I am a dirty America-hating traitor like you, Leonard
8(13.1%)
No, because I am a sissy vegetarian, Leonard
5(8.2%)
No, because I am alone and nobody loves me, Leonard
5(8.2%)
No, because I live in some crazy foreign country where we don't celebrate Thanksgiving, Leonard
7(11.5%)

What's your favorite Thanksgiving special?

The Drunk and Weeping Football Announcers Show
7(12.3%)
Claymation Bird Slaughter
7(12.3%)
Li'l' Virussy Presents: Better Comin' Up Than Goin' Down
1(1.8%)
Me and My Big Militia
1(1.8%)
The Turkey That Was Pardoned On Thanksgiving and Went On To Rape and Murder Six Other Turkeys
13(22.8%)
Regis Philbin's Feast...Or Famine?
2(3.5%)
A Mr. T Punchgiving
15(26.3%)
Disney's Wide World of Intellectual Property Litigation
6(10.5%)
Taco Bell Topeka's Thanksgiving Parade
2(3.5%)
Have an Oppressive Holiday Season (with your hosts, Dick Clark and Islam Karimov)
3(5.3%)

What Louises would you like to invite to Thanksgiving dinner?

Louis Armstrong
3(4.9%)
Louis L'Amour
0(0.0%)
Julia Louis-Dreyfus
3(4.9%)
Louis XIV
0(0.0%)
Louis Napoleon
0(0.0%)
Louie Louie
1(1.6%)
Louis Pasteur
4(6.6%)
Louis Vuitton
0(0.0%)
Louis CK
1(1.6%)
St. Louis
0(0.0%)

Which is the best alternate celebration of Thanksgiving?

Ant Banksgiving, the holiday where you hang around with Atmosphere's DJ
7(11.5%)
Billy Blanksgiving, the holiday where you do lots of Taebo
5(8.2%)
Anne Franksgiving, the holiday where you feel really bad for victims of the Holocaust
5(8.2%)
Tom Hanksgiving, the holiday where Rita Wilson nags you to get her more work
2(3.3%)
Kingsbury Manxgiving, the holiday where you listen to obscure alt-rock all day
8(13.1%)
Max Plancksgiving, the holiday where you do theoretical physics for fun
16(26.2%)
Shabba Ranksgiving, the toaster's holiday
9(14.8%)
Tommy Shanksgiving, the holiday where you vote a mentally ill person into the mayor's office
5(8.2%)
Big Yanksgiving, the holiday where you make juvenile comments about a long-defunct men's clothing line
2(3.3%)
Some other thing I will say in comments because you ain't funny.
2(3.3%)

Happy Thanksgiving, friends! Whattya think about that?